Food, food, food. If we’re not actually eating food we are probably planning or reading about eating or perhaps having guilt complexes about what we shouldn’t be eating. In our modern society of plenty, where less and less of our time is spent growing or obtaining food, more time is spent simply shopping or dining out. Instead of going out for the hunt for days on end to spear that bison or woolly mammoth, we get impatient at a one-minute delay in the queue at McDonald’s. All our spare time can now be spent driving across town to the latest restaurant, reading and talking about eating, worrying about whether the food is causing heart disease or cancer, going on diets and exercising. Our over active homo-sapien brains have now replaced the fear of not getting enough food, with fears about getting the wrong food, eating too much, or whether we are over dressed for eating out at the snazzy new restaurant.

Pity then the poor bushwalker who can’t simply put down the pack when he reaches camp and walk into the nearest 7 eleven for a feed. The bushwalker is required to actually think about the food he or she is eating and plan for the whole trip. Unfortunately the latest advice on food simply panders to modern paranoia about the latest fad diet, food fashion or its disease causing effects. The main thing to remember is that food like sex has been going on in human society for a long time and more information about it doesn’t necessarily add to its enjoyment. If you want authoritative information about the latest diet then read page 10 of Womens’ Weekly, which is required before you get to page 23 which has the recipe for double chocolate Bavarian mud cake with extra icing.

OK then what do the experts agree on? Well there is general consensus that food is in fact required for general health and wellbeing. Although at least one group disagrees. There is a cult who believes that it is possible to live on air alone and that thinking about food replaces its consumption. Unfortunately the followers of this cult have been known to expire, whilst the cult leader has been caught sipping cups of tea and snacking on the occasional TIM TAM. (Not to mention being photographed eating a vegetarian meal at a London airport - Ed.)

Well given that we know that food is required then how should the average bushwalker plan for a weekend or longer trip? The main approaches to food planning can be categorised as follows:

The Pantry Method
Most often practised by beginners and inexperienced walkers. Basically the fear of going hungry causes the bushwalker to bring everything in the pantry including tins, plum puddings and two kilos of sugar. Most often practiced by school age students and young scouts going on their first hike. The poor blighters end up carrying 35 kg packs because their mums were worried they would go hungry. This method is highly recommended as it contributes to the happiness and enjoyment of others in the group who would otherwise miss out on a yummy plum pudding for desert. The main disadvantage is the beginners never come on another walk so that a constant supply of newcomers is required.

The Diet Method
This is the opposite of the pantry method. Generally practised by older generations that decide the 7-day walk is an opportunity to lose 10kg. Generally the proponents of this method try to survive on half rations and are known to finish their dinner around 4pm and drool for hours over other people’s dinner. The diet method people often try to make good friends with proponents of the pantry method. This method is also highly recommended as it provides hours of entertainment during dinnertime - much like throwing scraps to sea gulls at the beach.

The Gourmet Method
Generally followed by survivors of the pantry method. Proponents still have the fear of going hungry but have wised up to the weight problem and they go down to the hiking shop and spend $12 for a shrink wrapped freeze dried ‘meal” which despite its enticing packaging still comes out like porridge flavored with chicken stock cubes.

The Food Pill Method
In 1965 it was believed that by 2001 technology would be so advanced that everyone would be eating food pills and we wouldn’t be bothered eating ordinary foods. Now the 21st century is here and all we have is Power bars that seem to contain a magic ingredient called dried fruit. This method is also highly recommended as it provides hours of entertainment talking about the relative energy rating of Power bars versus dried apricots.

The Scroggin Method
If you know what scroggin is and what it means then you are a member of the inner sanctum of experienced bushwalkers. Proponents of this method know the best way to consume scroggin is to give it all away on the first day and then ask for return favours on the subsequent days. Highly experienced walkers know to avoid actually eating scroggin and only accept pure jelly babies and milk bottles because the mix of salt from the peanuts really destroys the flavour of chocolate freckles in the scroggin mix.

The Living Off The Land Method
Proponents of this method generally only last the first hour of a walk. They are characterised by their attire - usually army fatigues and carrying a blunt knife from the army disposals store. They also talk a lot about Rambo or Chuck Norris movies. Aboriginals once lived off the land, but unfortunately for us all the best bits were nicked by our forebears - only to leave the unproductive areas without enough food, unless you enjoy Bogong moth.

In summary just remember the following tips:

• Don’t carry too much - leave the tins and puddings home. Carrying excess is guaranteed to ruin your walk.
• Don’t follow fads or try to diet on trips - this is not the time to try new things.
• You don’t need to buy “specialist” hiking food - everything you need can found in the supermarket.
• Eat what you are familiar with.

In the next part of this article we will talk more about the recommended diet and what to bring on a bushwalk.