Romantic Trekker

Dear Dr T,
I'm after some relationship advice, as I haven't had much success lately. A few weekends ago I met an attractive girl on a bushwalk, and although she didn't know (or seem to care) who William Shatner was, she otherwise seemed quite intelligent. We seemed to be getting on very well; I talked to her for a few hours about "Dr Who" and even complimented that her legs were almost as good as Leela's, however she wasn't on the following week's walk and has never rematerialised since. Do you think I may have gone a little too far in inviting her home to fondle my sonic screwdriver?

A similar thing happened a couple of weeks later; I thought my Klingon impersonation was spot-on but she wasn't impressed. I thought women would find a sense of humour attractive, particularly a goonish one such as mine, but it doesn't seem to work around here - or is it just that I've joined the wrong club? Would my appeal be enhanced if I was actually to lead a few treks of my own? Any advice would be appreciated.

Yours Enterprisingly,
Trek Commander, Burwood

Dear TC,
Although the ladies you meet don't appear to be fans of the travelling Time-Lord, they seem to recognise a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.
Women actually do enjoy fantasy TV shows as well, it's just that they tend to go for different programmes like "Sex and the City", "Friends", "Ally McBeal" where they (eventually) meet up with Mr Right who dates them in Paris then they live happily ever after. Of course Carrie and Co. had to endure many false starts along the way (pee-loving politicians anyone?), however none involved going on a hike and meeting "real" people like yourself. So if you want to engage a woman, start a conversation about these shows or other topics that they are interested in instead.
Otherwise try Maroondah Bushwalking Club, I hear they have theme walks where they dress up in starship uniforms and boldly bush-bash where no man has bush-bashed before.

May the Farce be with you ,
Dr T