Noisy Neighbours

Dear Dr T,
                On a recent base-camp, I made the mistake of pitching my tent next to the club's veteran nymphomaniac-in-residence. I was then kept awake all night by the sound of her entertaining her latest pick-up. Many times I felt like banging on her tent and asking them to keep the noise down, or relocating myself to the other end of the campground, however I felt too embarrassed to do so, as they would realise I had overheard them. What is your advice in case I find myself in this situation again?

Yours Sleeplessly,
Jealous Bystander

Dear JB,
             How can you like spending a weekend in natural surroundings yet are unable to enjoy the sounds of nature in full flight? I've spent many a memorable night entranced by the mating cries of all manner of creatures from the latin rhythm of cicadas to the thrash-metal screeching of Tasmanian devils. And yet here you are complaining about love calls of the same species. My advice is don't just lie there, go and join in. I once found myself sharing a campsite on the Great South West track with a party from the Catholic Women's Walking club - I won't go into details, suffice to say I slept very well afterwards, awakened only by numerous "Hail Marys" the next morning.

Or maybe you can get yourself some earplugs?

Ta for now,
Dr T.