Addicted Telemarker
Dear Dr. Telemark,
Having seen your videos, I’m now even more addicted to skiing - I can now go faster and steeper and not bomb out without style! However I’m poor, I can’t afford to go where there’s snow in summer, but desperation to keep those skills has made me find an answer - I now practice at home in the garden with an old pair of skis on a mattress. I don’t go anywhere but it’s great fun - and I’ll be ready for the real stuff when it comes.
One problem - people think I’m really mad now - Dr. Telemark how can I overcome my addiction ? Life ain’t life without a Telemark and sex is a poor second - HELP!.
PJ “Delirious” (Mr) Melbournish.

Dear PJ
An addiction to Tele skiing is nothing to be ashamed of, tell your neighbour you’re mad and proud of it! Overseas travel does not need to be expensive; recently on a trip to the Hindu Kush, I lived on $5 a day. Sure the food wasn’t that good and the accommodation left much to be desired, but when you're skiing some of the best slopes in the world with no tows and no crowds and descending from summits of mountains such as Koh-i-Sisgeigh (6130metres), the standard of food and accommodation does not matter. This was one of the highlights of my life only surpassed by a near terminal descent on tele skis from near the summit of Mt. Everest, But I digress, It’ll be near impossible to cure the addiction so I suggest that you need a new challenge in your life, how about starting with a 50km day walk, then progressing to 100km in a day. Or take up Rock Climbing, or similar extreme sports. This will take your mind off the snow for a while. Get rid of the mattress and practice on the grass instead. If the lawn looks a little shabby, I suggest that you reseed it in early Spring with a hard wearing grass seed that contains a high percentage of perennial rye-grasses. When it’s growing, feed it well with a lawn fertiliser (NPK 17:1.6.6:9) and your lawn will be well established for that Autumn ski practice.
Love, Dr. T

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