Joan's comments are printed beside each entry but if you would like to read Joan's report in its entirety, click here. 2012 Christmas Competition judge's comments.

Joan Ackland, Shirley Whiteway and Janice Williams

FIRST PRIZE
Len and the Rickshaw

Of all seven entries in this category this piece leapt out from the others as the obvious winner.

From the very beginning this memoir was totally engaging, the narrative easy to read and flowing along, with just sufficient detail to make the scene come vividly alive. Light-hearted in tone, the piece was leavened by gentle wit, with not a little irony behind its marital affection. Superbly written, this little piece says far more than it actually states, and in a way that will strike a chord with many readers. Congratulations!

Second Prize: Treasure Cave by Janice Williams

Janice Williams  

Second Prize: Treasure Cave

Though relatively short, and perhaps even somewhat slight, the power and charm of this work lies in the way it is written from a child’s perspective, the child voice being well maintained throughout a simple, yet engaging narrative that holds one’s attention right to the end. I deem this a small, but finely polished gem!

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Linda Blackshaw

Third place goes, rather sadly, to La Moreneta.
(La Moreneta is the Spanish for the Black Madonna of Montserrat)

I say rather sadly, because the story is immensely engaging. It is spoiled however by a number of glaring faults which destroy its impact. There are, for example, awkward changes of tense, from past to present and vice versa, for no apparent reason. Likewise from singular to plural verbs not consistent with their subject. There is also confusion, typographical error perhaps, between ‘of’ and ‘off’, and other similar grammatical errors which may be due to ignorance, or perhaps just lack of that careful re-reading and editing I mentioned earlier. The power of this story deserves better! And I can only urge you all to take heed and make sure your work is as perfect as possible before you present it publicly.  In this case, our competition. For as a Society of Women Writers we should always aim for the highest possible professional standard in what we produce!

These days of course we’ve come a long way from the formal concept of poetry, entailing rhyme and a stanzaic structure - to the extent that poetically written prose pieces are often referred to as prose poems. And some alleged poetry we see printed in our daily papers is, in fact, little more than chopped up prose, without a even a vestige of poetic form, use of language, or even feeling in them.

Which leads me to ask, what do I look for in a poem! Certainly not just that old concept of a rhymed and stanzaic piece of writing!

Well, firstly, something that engages my imagination and has a freshness to it, with words, rhythms, tone and form that complement the content. As should its sound – what I call the poem’s music. For we should never forget that poetry had its origin as an aural art – designed to aid the memory!

Just as importantly, I need to have my emotions  stirred, my senses gratified and my mind engaged in such a way that I will ponder the poem’s subtleties long after I’ve read or heard it.

And of course to do all this the poem employs words. Words which need to be appropriate to, as well as enhance both the mood and the content of the poem. Moreover, these words must be set down in such a way that they create their own verbal music – that rhythmic flow and patterning which distinguish the poem from prose. Though I must say that these characteristics are also present in the best prose poems!

In the best poems, and prose poetry, the words used will, of course, also set up resonances that expand our awareness beyond their obvious statement. To put it another way: a poem should be in the kind of language that says more, and says it more intensely, than does the every-day use and arrangement of words.

And here arrangement becomes important. For the effectiveness of a poem’s words depends, to a large extent, on the way they are set down: the rhythm of the lines, line length, the positioning of stressed words and such stanzaic arrangement as may be used. Likewise, the use of rhyme can be a compelling tool when used with discretion, and is not merely sing-song!

All that is of course no more than the nuts and bolts of the poet’s art. But in judging poetry I am always mindful that the best poetry rarely, if ever, results from a determination to write it. It is always an inspirational thing: both inspired in its origin, and inspiring to those receiving it, so that we come away, seeing things with new eyes! 

And one more point: in poetry, perhaps more than in any other category of writing, that old adage I’ve already quoted, that less is more, most certainly applies!

First Prize: Country Morning by Marguerite Kisvardai

Marguerite Kisvardai (Varday)

A mere thirteen lines long, this finely crafted little gem is deceptively simple, its evocation of the titular country morning being so clear and vivid, and so true to life that we seem to experience what the poet is describing. But its power is not just that lovely scene, it is the sense evoked in the last two lines of life going on and on, forever seeking its source of nourishment. Thus, what has seemed a simple description is transformed into profound contemplation of the meaning of life. This is a truly great and thought-provoking little poem! Congratulations!!

 Janice Williams 

Here a fixed rhyme and stanzaic form are not merely a meaningless employment of a somewhat archaic form. They are an organic element of the poem, projecting the actual subject of the poem, which is, in fact, the past and its literature. This neat twist is of course captured in the ‘Second-hand’ of the title! All its nostalgia and reflections on past events are nicely countered, bringing any sentimentality up short with a neatly comic twist in the concluding stanza. 
A very clever, amusing and readable poem, written with authority.

Lorraine McGuigan

The juxtaposition here of tersely, but vividly evoked familiar war-time images and the tranquil notion of gardening, with all its lovely life-force is not only powerful, it is intensely thought-provoking and disturbing - the present tense not only emphasizing the current truth of events, but our own involvement in, and responsibility for such terrors as the poem depicts. Compact and almost prosaic in its description, this is poetry of the most forceful and chilling kind. A powerful work indeed, and that of of true poet!

Judith Green

As with the Short Story category, there were many poems of very high standard, two of which I felt compelled to commend. 

What seems at first a simple description of a creek in flood gradually becomes a history of its past, and beyond that, the primeval existence of what we only too often see as our commonplace surroundings. In this way that seemingly simple description becomes both a philosophic contemplation and a virtual hymn of praise for the everlasting glories of our all too ephemeral world.

This is a lovely and quite profoundly thought-provoking poem.

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Joan and Maree Silver

This brief, tersely stated little poem packs an enormous emotional punch, with a quite terrible and thought-provoking conclusion which arouses both sympathy for the subject and amazement, even anger that anyone should be put in such a situation. Altogether a quite disturbing poem that sets us wondering about the justice of life.

In conclusion, I must say that the high standard of all the poems I’ve discussed, and indeed others that almost made the cut, is indeed cheering and points to a rich future for our women poets. And for our Society! Moreover it has made my judging a most enjoyable experience.

For which I thank you all.

Thankyou.

The best entries here not only engaged my mind and imagination, they were also sensually evocative and had a considerable emotional impact. 

There was also a freshness about them, with a sense of creative energy and empathy with the subject, so that some were lively, vigorous and plot-driven, while others were quietly reflective and atmospheric. All of which indicates the rich capabilities of our members! For while there are no actual rules to short story writing, what  you put down should always be relevant to your tale, and sufficiently engaging, with some kind of

 climatic point to give it shape and purpose before it leads on to its conclusion. In other words, the old notion usually applies, of having an engaging beginning to get the reader in, an exposition of events leading on to an end, which, as I said regarding non-fiction, may be either final in effect, or open-ended, leaving the reader to form his own conclusion.

Above all though, the story must be compelling, and written in language that is both engaging and relevant to the subject, while it also enhances the mood and atmosphere the author wishes to evoke.

First place in this category I awarded to To the Bitter End.

This well-known historically based tale immediately draws the reader in by starting at the end of a trial, the reason for which we are about to learn as the tale progresses. Written in terse and compelling language, the beginning vividly evokes a terrible situation, followed by a powerful narrative thrust that becomes more and more emotionally moving as it drives towards its inevitable conclusion. Familiar as the facts of this story are, they are retold here in a most engaging and authoritative way. Something not easy to do. Indeed, this is a quite splendid piece of writing! Congratulations!

 Veronica Schwarz

Second place I awarded to Good Advice. This most original subject reflects an all-too-prevalent reality in today’s world, by getting inside the mind of a sex predator. All the more powerful by being simply told, it is not only quite hypnotically engaging, it has a nice and satisfying twist at the end. Another piece written with considerable authority.

Janice Williams

Third place goes to Angels are Blond.

Vividly evoking the terror of an earthquake, the strength of the tale lies in the sense of physical disorientation and confused feelings that are captured as we follow the experience of the male protagonist. Well imagined and tellingly written, it is perhaps a little too drawn out, thereby losing considerable impact, and seeming to fade away at the end. The old adage applies: ‘Less is usually more!’ Apart from its undue length I found this an engaging tale.

Meryl Brown Tobin

The overall standard of entries in this Short Story category was such that I felt obliged to commend two further pieces.

The first of these, Buying Time, is a somewhat slight piece so far as length is concerned. But, as I’ve just noted, it is quality, not size that matters! And the fine writing here was not only authoritative and totally engaging, it had a delightfully comic twist at the end.

Joan and Paula Wilson

The second piece I commended was The Stolen Kiss – a simple and perhaps over-obvious tale of a woman reflecting on a past event in her life, the strength of the story lying in its vivid evocation of place and atmosphere. We are, however, left wondering about the impact her reflections might have on her present life – something that could have been hinted at, thus giving the story greater power. The reason for this little failure is the flash-back form in which the remembered event is enclosed by brief present-time statements – always an awkward form to make work successfully. Apart from this, it is a fine work.

My congratulations to all the authors of these stories. Overall, the standard of entries in this category was relatively high, with most stories both engaging and reasonably well told, though some were perhaps over-ambitious, some a little melodramatic, with others being weak and inconclusive at the end. Some – far too many - also lacked editing, with spelling errors and unforgivable grammatical inconsistencies.

Good writing, remember, takes work and care as well as inspiration!

Joan Ackland