Neighbourhood Watch: STN 1 South YarraRegion 1 Division 2 Stonnington, Victoria, Australia.
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Neighbourhood Watch: STN 1 South Yarra
Region 1 Division 2
Stonnington, Victoria, Australia.
You are here: Home>Newsletters>October 2002
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October, 2002 October is Community Safety Month Think SAFE, Act SAFE, Feel SAFE, Be SAFE IN keeping with the theme of Community Safety Month here are some ideas you might like to consider. Trim time At this time of the year it doesn't take too long for the garden to get out of control. If you have trees or shrubs growing on your fence line, please check their growth occasionally to make sure they are not becoming a hazard to pedestrians. Please remember that there are some people in the community (ie. the visually impaired) for whom overhanging branches are a constant threat. It doesn't take much effort to keep the footpath outside your home a safe place for pedestrians. Littering There appears to be a trend for some deliverers of advertising material to leave a stack of magazines at blocks of units without putting them in mail boxes. This practise is illegal. On a windy day the magazines end up littering the neighbourhood. If this is happening at your block notify the Distribution Standards Board on 1800 676 136. Your complaint will be passed on to the distributors of the material. Holidays If you intend being away from home for an extended period you can obtain an "Absence From Residence Form" from Prahran Police Station or download a copy here. Backyard BBQ If you are having a backyard barbeque make sure that the front doors and windows are secure to prevent any ‘unwanted' guests gaining entry. Burglars Convicted offenders report that external lighting and dogs are the best deterrents. Your neighbours are not a bad deterrent either. Have a chat to them. Smoke alarms Installing smoke alarms in all residential dwellings is mandatory. However, it would appear that some people consider installing a battery in a smoke alarm is optional. Is your life worth less than the price of a battery? Fire Safety Plan How about getting the family together and working out your fire escape plan and having a practise run. It's probably something you've been meaning to do for a while. NOW is a good time. Shopping trolleys A resident recently inquired as to who to inform about abandoned shopping trolleys. Reports should be made to Stonnington Council on 8290 1333. Door callers Always demand identification from unknown callers, particularly those claiming to represent a Government department or agency, or the phone, gas, electricity or water companies. Graffiti Update Congratulations to Stonnington Council. It has been pleasing to see that the Council's anti-graffiti initiative has been effective in removing some long term graffiti. It has been quite a pleasant experience to suddenly see a clean fence which had previously been a constant target of "taggers". Police patrols Did you know that there are over 300 km of streets in the City of Stonnington. The chances of a police patrol actually being in your street and observing a crime being committed are therefore extremely small. It is often assumed that an increase in police patrols will reduce crime. It's been tried. It's been evaluated. It didn't reduce crime. If you want to see a reduction in the crime rate then get some exercise. Take a walk, take your mobile phone (if you have one), and call the police when you see something which is suspicious. House numbers Large and visible house numbers on the perimeter fence, near the gate, are vital in response times for police and emergency services. Make sure that your home can be found quickly in an emergency. Community Safety Month - Think SAFE, Act SAFE, Feel SAFE, Be SAFE.... and have a laugh. Good excuse One day a man is speeding on the highway and a police officer falls in behind him and turns on the blue lights. The man thinks, "I can get away from this COP..." He commences to increase his speed and escape from the officer. After a minute or so, he realizes that he's not going to escape, so he pulls over. The Police Officer steps up to the window of his vehicle and tells the man, "I was on my way home and have had a very long day. If you can give me a good enough excuse, I'll let you go with a warning." The man thinks for a second and says to the officer, "About two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. I honestly thought that you were him trying to give her back to me..." All heart One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food." the poor man replied. "Oh, come along with me then." "But sir, I have a wife with two children!" "Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man. "But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered. "Bring them as well!" They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall." Men How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house. A husband is someone who takes out the rubbish and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. Court transcript Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for breathing?" A: "No." Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" A: "No." Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere." Classified advert "Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything." Next Meeting
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Last modified 7 September 2003.