Rose Hiscock
By the end of this article I will have confessed
to a crime. It involves a theft from a regional museum and implicates
a curator. I’ve been waiting nearly twenty years to come
clean. I want to wash away my conscience.
In 1983 Prince Charles and his new bride put
Sovereign Hill on the map. Sure, Sovereign Hill was already a
decent museum with healthy visitation. But as Charles and Di strolled
around the dusty streets, took a coach ride up the main drag and
accepted their own WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE poster, sleepy old Ballarat
and its famous Museum hit the big time.
It was a freezing day, the wind was up, and
everyone was saying how cold the little Princess looked. After
all, we had layers of pantaloons, crinolines and bonnets as insulation.
Obviously no one had told her about Ballarat weather or the dress
code. Finishing their frosty turn around the streets, they were
invited to a reception luncheon for a small group of Ballarat
notables. It was the Ballarat glitterati and paparazzi - the mayor,
the undertaker, the town crier, every school captain, local rag
editors, and me...obsessed fan with connections. Well, I’d
watched the Wedding Royale, I was fourteen years old, and I too
was probably going to be a princess.
So there I was. Feeling one million dollars
in my bonnet, my eighties hair cut, and my buck teeth, waiting
my turn. And it was truly magnificent. I got to shake royal hands,
chew the fat a little and crack a few jokes.
One curator knew of my obsession, and likely
heartbreak at the end of it all. So she put her career on the
line and flogged something for me - a little keepsake, which I
am now prepared to return. You see, on the way out Di had stopped
by the dunny. As she left, my friend the curator snuck in after
her and a grabbed the very soap that had just been purifying royal
hands. I was presented with the soap and have kept it in humidity-controlled
conditions ever since.
So if anyone out there in regional Victoria
would like to claim the Soap Royale to put a shine on their collection
I am prepared to talk turkey - and give a little something back
to regional Vic.