Relationships with Women

I love my wife, I love my mother, I love both my sisters. The problems I have (no not problems...opportunities) are in building more solid, more loving, more trusting relationships with my father and stepfather and other men around me.

     Submitted by Rob Brown 17:6:52 23/3/97

This is such a typical (and I'm beginning to think universal) part of being a man. Might I suggest a new chat room here, entitled:

Relationships with Men

I think, for the most part, relating with women is far easier than relating with other men. The degree of competition is not nearly so great, and women (speaking in GROSS generalities here) tend to help us be more emotive... at least one on one.

Speaking in terms of relating with women, I've really not given it much thought. I just do. That's all. However, when I move the 'relating' into a more romantic sphere, the works get all gummed up. This is, of course, my own insecurities that come into play. On a platonic level, they make no difference and things run smoothly. But throw sex and romance into the mix and my level of functioning tends to slow down.

I can analyze this in terms of personal circumstances and situations, and I have done that. What I'm interested in is understanding the societal influence on my insecurities. I'm interested in getting a sense of how many men have similar feelings. Through mass understanding, perhaps I can resolve them somewhat... or perhaps it'll just take me biting the bullet and getting back in the ring again.

Thoughts?

     Submitted by David Veatch 14:36:26 26/3/97

I think.... (therefore I am ??) it may have something to do with trust and control...that is trusting the other person with your emotions be it a woman or a man. To give yourself completely to someone is a very frightening thing especially as a man when we have been indoctrinated into believing that control is the only way. This means controlling our emotions, environment etc. Any sort of emotion is seen as a loss of control. I believe however, that the only way to be successful in any relationship is to be completely open. For this to occur you have to trust not only the other person but also yourself in that emotional arena. I'm just heading out the door for a holiday for a week but will return with a clearer and more concise discussion piece. Many apologies for the hurried nature of this blurb I hope it stirs some thought.

     Submitted by Rob Brown 6:52:41 5/4/97

Interesting comments... I work in the field of early childhood, surely one of the most genderifically (is that a word?) unbalanced careers around. As a result, most of my daily interactions are with women, and have been for the last 14 years. I'm not sure how that has affected me - or rather, I don't know whether I would have turned out the way I am if I was a plumber or computer programmer. However, I am certainly different from most men I know, in terms of cooking, housework, sensitivity towards others and positive and respectful relationships with women. I have certainly noticed how women are "generally" different from men, and I must have learnt from and adapted to these differences. I must concur with the others and admit that my biggest problem is relationships with MEN. I really feel that I don't understand them, which is sooo weird since I am one! I have great difficulty just talking casually with most men I meet or know. I often find myself slipping into this strange 'blokey' personality, talking about football, cars and beer - I don't even like football that much, I know nothing about cars, and I prefer wine to beer!! I don't have any answers, but I vote for a "Relationships with men" page... By the way, turn to "Relationships with kids" for news about a new men's group I'm involved in. See ya!

     Submitted by Anonymous 16:22:53 18/7/97

Interesting comments... I work in the field of early childhood, surely one of the most genderifically (is that a word?) unbalanced careers around. As a result, most of my daily interactions are with women, and have been for the last 14 years. I'm not sure how that has affected me - or rather, I don't know whether I would have turned out the way I am if I was a plumber or computer programmer. However, I am certainly different from most men I know, in terms of cooking, housework, sensitivity towards others and positive and respectful relationships with women. I have certainly noticed how women are "generally" different from men, and I must have learnt from and adapted to these differences. I must concur with the others and admit that my biggest problem is relationships with MEN. I really feel that I don't understand them, which is sooo weird since I am one! I have great difficulty just talking casually with most men I meet or know. I often find myself slipping into this strange 'blokey' personality, talking about football, cars and beer - I don't even like football that much, I know nothing about cars, and I prefer wine to beer!! I don't have any answers, but I vote for a "Relationships with men" page... By the way, turn to "Relationships with kids" for news about a new men's group I'm involved in. See ya!

     Submitted by Ron Holmes 16:24:1 18/7/97