(2005)
December Prac. Night
Don't forget that the December Prac. Night is a “bring your own Pizza” night.
Grab a pizza and a drink or two on the way and enjoy them with the others.
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(2005)
Christmas Hamper
Please bring along your goodies to the December Prac night and stock up the basket.

Wine, chocolates, nick-naks, a leg of ham, everything to make your Christmas party swing !!

The more members donate the more pleasure it will bring to one lucky member and the funds go to the Club facilities for your use. Please support the club by filling the hamper.
See Reg for raffle tickets.
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(2005)
Christmas Party - Saturday 10th December.
This year’s party is to be held at the President’s residence in Nar Nar Goon -- Number 1 Carney St.. to be exact. It is BYO your own everything. The Club will supply the BBQ but please bring your own seating and possibly a table to eat at. For those who are inclined, some games (adult and kids games) would go down well. One for the women would be appreciated as well. See you there at about 11am onwards or until we get kicked out.
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(2005)
Easter 2006—Is it that far away.
Helmut has given us information regarding a possible Club trip to the Wangaratta / Beechworth area. Currently available for Easter there are:
appr. 20 unpowered sites @ A$ 14.00
5 x powered sites @ A$ 18.00
1 x on site caravan
Booked into the park already are:
Ron & Judy Roberts
Ian & Val Benson
Helmut & Dorothe Inhoven
Ivan Blezard (80%)
So think about it and we will discuss it at the Meeting
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(2005)
MDRC visit
On 6th. October 2005, at the invitation of Reg. Goddard UK, eight Seniors from MDRC visited the new Headquarters of the Gippsland Gate Radio and Electronics Club. The attached picture shows L-R
Ivan Blezard 3ARV - (GGREC Committee Man )
Reg Goddard 3UK - ( GGREC Committee Man)
Ray Rutledge 3ZQ, Harley Kerr 3CHK
John Kirk 3HCT, Eric Berry 3AZD
Jerry Viscaal 3MQ (Pres. MDRC ), Colin Durrell 3UDC
Not in pic. were Jenny Goddard (Family Member GGREC & Reg's XYL ) and photographer Ken Morgan 3CEK.
The hospitality of GGREC was outstanding, we all left a pound or so heavier ! Thanks Jenny, Reg and Ivan.
Ken Morgan
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(2005)
Sci Fi Quote of the Month
....And before we judge of them too harshly we must remember what ruthless and utter destruction our own species has wrought, not only upon animals, such as the vanished bison and the dodo, but upon its inferior races. The Tasmanians, in spite of their human likeness, were entirely swept out of existence in a war of extermination waged by European immigrants, in the space of fifty years. Are we such apostles of mercy as to complain if the Martians warred in the same spirit? From H. G. Wells, 'War of the Worlds'
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(2005)
MIKE IDE SAYS………………………

Is Too Low an SWR Dangerous???
There was this SWR freak who kept climbing his tower, day after day, to prune the antenna matching system. He repeated this again and again, as if he was trying to bring the SWR below 1:1; that important it seemed to him. With all the climbing, one night he fell off his tower and killed himself. So you see, TOO LOW AN SWR CAN KILL…

Here is a hint.
Are you looking for insulators for that antenna project? FARMHAND on the corner of High and Normanby Streets in Cranbourne have a large range of electric fence insulators; many of which are suitable for antenna use.

A couple of Limericks by Mike Ide.

There once was a young Ham from Wangaratta
Whose signal would splatter
When told he was a pain
He would turn up his gain
And say it just does not matter

There once was a Ham whose signal was weak
Although he was poor, he refused to be meek
So when he bought a big linear
He grew steadily skinnier
For he could no longer afford to eat
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Remove yourself from the gene pool!!! (Nov 2005)
Continuing on from last month we present more “stupid things people do”. The 2005 Darwin Awards. Thanks to Paul TGX for sending them in.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family.... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant.
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THE LAUGH IS ON US!
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. " I got my first impression of the parish from the first
confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full good and loving people.".. . Just as the
priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to
him in confession."

Moral: DON'T EVER BE LATE
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A Horses Ass…….. (or a..e!!)
Just when you thought it was safe to go out in the street again, here is the end of the horse’s tale!!!

Now the twist to the story!

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.


..... and you thought being a HORSE'S ASS wasn't important!.
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Sci Fi Quote of the Month(Oct 2005)
'You can have Peace and you can have Freedom. Just don't count on having both at once.'

Robert Heinlein, 'Stranger in a Strange Land'
--------------------------------------------------
There are no prizes for guessing who supplied this!!!!! Ed.
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Limerick Competition(Oct 2005)
I thought it might be a bit of fun to run a little competition to generate a bit of debate. What better way than a LIMERICK competition!!!

So send in your original limerick this month on any subject you like. The winner will get a prize of some description!
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WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER PEOPLE...(Oct 2005)
Your last name stays put.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can never get pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
People never stare at your chest when they talk to you.
The same hairstyle can last for many years.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
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Two blondes walk into a building.... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.(Oct 2005)

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
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The Lighter Side of Life(Oct 2005)
Ramp it up guys/gals…...
ICE …. No not in the whiskey!!!
Dedicated to the lighter side of life. Enjoy.…

THOUGHTS TO MAKE YOU SMILE.…

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I work hard because thousands on welfare depend on me.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I'm not a complete idiot; Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God loves stupid people. He must 'coz he made so many.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?

Being over the hill is much better than being under it.

Wrinkled was not what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Procrastinate now!

I have a degree in Arts; Do you want fries with that?

A hangover is the wrath of the grapes.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was taken.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

The trouble with life is that there's no background music.

The original point & click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken and a lifetime commitment for a pig.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory
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Older 'n Dirt!!(Oct 2005)
"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?"
" We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the food was slow."
" C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"
" It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pound! s, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine." I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone els! e's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
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RD Contest
Members decided at the June Meeting to take part in the next RD Contest.
Mike VK3KTO explained what the RD was about and described the operating rules.
He is co-ordinator for this event and he will be inviting operators to take part during the 24 Hour event.
Two sections are operated; HF and VHF.
If you would like the challenge of taking part in a 24 Hour event you will not be asked to stay for the whole time unless you think you are up to the task. However shifts will be ransisto for both sections.
The RD Contest is held this year on the 13th and 14th of August and it will give us a chance to use the new Club Shack and all the new antennas.
It should be a good lead up to JOTA which follows in October of course. (15th and 16th October)
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Labour Day Weekend 2005

Those who indicated their intention of coming to Beechworth should book their sites now to avoid missing out on a great weekend.

 

Friday Arrive and setup Dinner Take away/BBQ

Saturday Beechworth's Forest Drive Beechworth Cemetery Chinese Burning Towers Lunch Beechworth Bakery/Own Museums Mt Stanley Lookout Dinner Stanley Hotel

Sunday Woolshed Falls Arron Sherrits Hut, Kelly Gang Kelly Caves The Gold Dredge walk Lunch Beechworth Bakery/Own Mt Pilot Lookout Aboriginal Art Site The Lavender Patch Tour de Malakoff Rose Garden Craft Shops Dinner Take away/BBQ

Monday Pack up Morning Tea Beechworth Bakery Depart Lunch Seymour

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Strays
Gutter Immunity, or How To Desensitise Your Kid.
As a very young child – a long time ago, I could always remember travelling down Warrigal Road, somewhere near Heatherton and seeing Dales knackery and being told by my grandmother “that was where they sent the old horses for the glue factory” and I feeling rather disturbed at the thought. Dales incidentally has now long gone and the land swallowed up by suburbia and horses are not sent to knackeries to be turned into glue.

Nevertheless during my working life I found myself by accident rather than design doing my fare share of inspectorial work at knackeries and abattoirs. One thing I did learn very quickly that although an abattoir or knackery was the end of the road for a beast it was certainly a great crossroad of humanity. They were all there from the astute businessman to the drugged up impoverished alcoholic, from the University graduate to the High School drop-out. Anything can happen, and usually does.
As I grew older and wiser whilst training new prospective inspectorial staff always requested that they come with me as an introduction into how the other half live; or perhaps it was the entertainment I got from their reactions.

Jane was new to the job, it was quite a hot day and I had to make an unscheduled quick stop at the local knackery to collect some paper work. We made our way through the carcasses and carnage that littered the floor all complimented with the odour and flies; I mean the restaurant scene from Monty Python’s “Meaning of Life” had nothing on the sight that greeted us. There, in the middle of the floor was the proprietor’s young son – a boy of about three years old, grubby little face, lovely little smile and sucking on a “chock-wedge”. The ice-cream from it was melting, running down his arm and dripping off his elbow into the blood on the floor.

As we drove away all Jane could say was “that poor little boy, that poor little boy”. That poor little boy? He was as happy as a pig in a poke, I mean what more could a little boy want on a hot day than a “chock-wedge”? Nothing else mattered at all.

The last time I saw that little boy was a school holiday time only a month or so before I finished up with Primary Industries. Of course by now he is much older but nothing had changed.

There he was again in the middle of the works floe, sitting on a dead cow this time, squirting one of her teats towards himself and trying to catch the milk in his mouth. His father looked up, “get out of it you dirty little devil” he yelled. “But it’s fresh” was the lad’s reply, “you shot her”!

I returned to the office. “I have just come from the knackery” I said “and I have just seen something that has turned me off milk for life” I chuckled. “We don’t want to know, we don’t want to know” was the response.

Graeme VK3BXG
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What's this tool for?

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VICE- GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing grease out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for, the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouc...."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake set-up, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front fender.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease build up.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulphuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your tool box after determining that your battery is dead as a door nail, just as you thought.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under motorcycles at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads and can double as oil filter removal wrench by stabbing through stubborn oil filters.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Springfield, and rounds them off.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
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CB RIDES AGAIN
The other day a mate sent me this email detailing his CB radio modifications and the 'fun' he has had afterwards - no wonder we amateurs get a bad look when we want to put up the new HF beam on top of a 15 meter tower.


Hi All,
As the neighbourhood all found out that my CB has magically been able to get it self into just about any electrical & non electrical equipment for at least a few hundred metres all around.

We are talking
- All amplifiers and Stereos
- TV sets
- Portable FM AM radios
- Record players
- You name it .. I have even heard shower reports.

My CB is interfering will all of these appliances and even more.
Did I mention Baby monitors ?

Amazing what happens when you boost the signal from your rig.

Well, I have actually found a use for it.
We regularly have a dinner at my house on a Friday night and, all I do to call the neighbours over for tea ... yep you guesses it .. get on the CB and yell out.

DINNER IS READY COME AND GET IT.
Channel 34 works best.

Sure enough ... they slowly wonder over, and we begin tea.

I'm making a switch on my rig (CB) that forces the machine into overdrive and now I have direct contact to all electrical appliances all around.

Who says you need a phone ?
Hey baby ......... I don't need a phone ......... I can even use a toaster to communicate if I have to.

Looks like Homer Simpson was on a good thing.

Bloody ripper .. Good neighbours though !
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Retired people
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days
interesting. Thought you'd like to see what happened to one senior last
week:

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a
break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him some names.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes...the more I abused him, the more tickets
he wrote.

I didn't care...my car was parked around the corner.

I have a little fun each day. It's important at my age.

Tooth Pulling
A man and his wife entered a dentist's office.
The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

"You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."

The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

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T Shirt Slogans

1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

2. On the front . . .60 IS NOT OLD. On the back. . .IF YOU'RE A TREE.

3. I'M STILL HOT... IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.

4. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

6. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.

7. I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.

8. ANNAPOLIS - A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILOR PROBLEM.

9. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD... ARE YOU BAD?

10. PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!

11. BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO SNATCH YOU
FROM YOUR CAR.

12. I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.

13. IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.

14. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.

15. KEEP STARING....I MAY DO A TRICK.

16. WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.

17. DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.

18. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.

19. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE", I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE.

20. CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.

21. LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.

22. IN GOD WE TRUST. ALL OTHERS WE POLYGRAPH.
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Observations for the day:
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people
die of natural causes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is sexually transmitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these
terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. I say we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration...
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The Lost Dr. Seuss poem
I Love My Job

I love my job, I love the pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss, he is the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location;
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and grey,
and piles of paper that grow each day!

I think my job is really swell,
there's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers,
I Love their leers, and jeers, and sneers.

I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it won't care.
I love each program and every file.
I'd love them more if they worked a while.

I'm happy to be here. I am. I am
I'm the happiest slave of the firm, I am.
I love this work, love these chores.
I love the meetings with the deadly bores.

I love my job - I'll say it again -
I even love those friendly men.
Those friendly men who've come today,
In clean white coats to take me away!!!!!
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Naree's Birthday Night Photo's

Cathie & William
	Marianna & Kate
Shutter Bug Paul (Naree insisted on this caption)

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The Big Gig
(By Ian VK3BUF, Pictures supplied by Paul VK3TGX)
On New Years Eve a number of Club members made their way down to Drouin West for the evening. The turn up was good with about 35 persons in attendance. Most of these stayed overnight in accommodation they had brought with them. Eight caravans and a tent were parked on the front lawn for the night.

The weather was kind that evening with few mosquito's and bugs to spoil the fun. The Club's barbeque was set up for dinner, and later a supper of baked potatoes were served.

Geoff VK3HGG brought along his 600cc buggy for a bit of fun. Several members had a go in the bottom paddock well into the night, with the last ride at around 1am. (below) Geoff gives Jim VK3UFO some last minute instruction on gears, ejector seat etc.

Geoff has created this vehicle from scratch and it performed extremely well on the freshly baled bottom paddocks.

Dianne VK3JDI (left) diplomatically reminds Ian VK3 BUF that the spuds should have been put in the webber over an hour ago.

(below) Kate & William cool off in the spa.

Outside the air was still and warm, while in the courtyard Helmut VK3DHI and Reg VK3UK experimented with cameras and barbeques

Geoff 3HGG also brought along a remote control flying saucer (seen rising on Left) which was spectacular to watch with its dual spinning red and blue Led lamps.

Other activities on the night included darts, billiards and table tennis doubles.

At midnight sparklers were distributed and waved around in the prescribed manner and a good time was had by all, as demonstrated by Ivan VK3ARV and Marriana (below)

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Labour day weekend March 5^th-8^th 2004
Hopefully those of you intending to come on this club weekend away will already have booked into the Prom Caravan Park in Foster, if not you will find the phone number and prices in the January issue of Gateway. The program below will leave plenty of time for personal browsing of the area.

Fri 5^th Arrive and set up.

Sat 6^th 11am leave for Agnes falls via Welshpool. Agnes falls picnic area for lunch. Then on to view the Wind Farm . Return to Foster via Toora and try the fare at the local sweet shoppe. BBQ on site about 6pm.

Sun 7^th Morning free. 2pm drive to Yarram, Then Port Albert for a breath of sea air. 6pm Meet at Port Welshpool Pub for evening meal, one not to miss.

Mon 8^th Unfortunately most will need to pack and head for home.

But there are plenty of interesting small towns to stop and explore on the way.
Also within about 50 Kms of Foster is the Grand ridge road with all its views. Toora, The Tarra /Bulga National Park, Mirboo North, The Cape Liptrap Lighthouse, Walkerville and Wilsons Prom.
All this within an easy drive from Cranbourne, so come and join us even if just for the day. See you there???????

Christmas Party Photos

New Years Eve Party Photos 2003

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1^st / 2^nd June
Port Welshpool – more details as they happen


25^th Anniversary
We are this year celebrating the 25^th Anniversary of the formation of our club and it has been decided to combine our annual mid winter dinner with a special dinner to mark the event. The date is to July 27^th and the venue is the Cardinia Park Hotel, Beaconsfield. This will be a ticket only function. We have exclusive use a room that can seat up to 80 people so please set aside the date and pass it on ot any members or ex-members you meet. We will be taking names at our May meeting and tickets and money will change hands in June.


Ggrec ‘Halfway There’ Club Bbq On May 18 2002
At Ian & Dianne Jacksons
Half-Finished Qth At 408 Old Sale Road, Drouin West

How to get there:
Follow the Princes Freeway due East, through Officer, Pakenham etc. until you see the Drouin / Mt BawBaw exit. Take this exit and keep following the signs to Nerrim Sth. Along the Old Sale road (Don’t go to Drouin itself as that’s not where we are) We are 4.08 km along this road from the start of Old Sale Road at the Robin Hood Hotel. When you get to Drouin West (don’t blink) you will see a fire station on your right, turn right into the next leg of Old Sale road and we are the second driveway on the right, about 200 metres further East along the same side. A call-in will be operating on 146.225.

What To Bring:
All that you intend to eat or drink… a chair perhaps. We have lots of sheltered space so it doesn’t matter if the weather is crappy.

When:
Start at around 12:00 midday
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The next Social Function is a Shack Visit on Saturday 23^rd March at the QTH of VK3VB & VK3OZ.

Please let them know if you are comming.

Try 146.225Mhz

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Results Of GGREC Bowling Day- Feb 2002

Name	Game 1	Game 2	Total
Kieth	65	89	154
Shirley	54	83	137
Marica	71	54	125
Ron Exj	80	90	170
Pat Oz	42	41	83
Dorothy	62	84	146
Helmut	122	102	224
Ivan	72	113	185
Steven	93	93	186
Anita	30	107	137
Lisa	75	120	195
Albert	91	145	236
Trish	36	68	104
Lori	92	105	197
Reg	140	191	331

Best Male

Albert 91 145 236

Best Female

Lori 92 105 197

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Bike Ride
The Bike Ride scheduled for Sunday 3^rd March 2002 will start at Jells Park - Mel. 71 K6; talk in on 146.225Mhz

Meet there at 10.00am for a group ride around the lake then back for a BBQ at the picnic grounds.
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Cape Schanck – VIM Visit
Due to the low interest in weekend away for Labour Day David VK3XMF has organised a tour of Radio VIM – Cape Schanck Radio Station. The tour is for 1:20 on Monday 11^th March. We will get together for a BBQ First at 11:30am. Melways ref for BBQ is 259 B9 and for VIM is 259 F6. Ths station closes in July so you won’t get another chance to view the facility!
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CHRISTMAS HAMPER

The year 2001 the Club purchased a leg of ham for the Christmas Hamper. Club members were asked to donate items to fill up the rest of the basket.

They were asked to bring along shortbreads, bottles of wine, unwanted HF transceivers etc, and make this years hamper the best yet.

Raffle tickets were on sale at the October Prac Night so everyone was reminded to bring along their wallets. Albert VK3BQO won!

A great night was had by all who attended.

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Labour Day camping weekend
Helmut organized a Labour Day camping weekend (10,11,12 March 2001) at the Tara Valley National Park in Gippsland. This was a fantastic location for bush walking and exploring the "prehistoric" Tara Valley. We set up a portable station and got lots of DX contacts logged.

The info below is taken from www.parks.vic.gov.au "Tarra-Bulga National Park is popular for picnics, walks, scenic drives and the study of nature. Roads throughout the area are narrow and winding but offer marvellous scenery with wide views from several points, including Mount Tassie, off the Traralgon-Balook Road, the Blackwarry fire tower and the Grand Ridge Road near the Grand Ridge Motel. " Personally I'll have to bring the 2m beam along and make the trip to Mt Tassie!