preemie-l several questions from new preemie mom

Jackie Sturgill (jsturgill@stic.net)
Thu, 20 Jun 1996 02:10:46 -0500 

Greetings Group!

Here are some questions for the preemie parents out there.

	1. Has anyone lost friends because you have a preemie baby, that 
	may be potentially special needs? 
	I have, 2 very close (so I thought) friends dropped me like a 
	hot potato when I gave birth to my son Adam(24 weeks, 5/2/96, 
	1lb13oz) The wife thought I would want to drop other 2 kids off 
	w/ her when I went to visit Adam.(And this is someone that runs 
	to church each time the preacher puts the key in the door.)
	I've also had people I've invited to go to the hospital w/ me 
	flatly refuse, because NICU would make them cry or they are 
	frightened by the idea of an ICU for babies.
	
	2. Is there a national preemie parents organization, specific &
	just for preemies & their families? (i.e. Not the March of Dimes 
	or Children's Miracle Network)

	3. For those with older siblings to the preemie, how did the
	sibling deal emotionally with the preemie, while the baby was 
	in NICU?
	My 9 year old, John is not dealing with this birth well at all.
	(Our 21 month old Garrett is oblivious to the baby's birth)
	When I bring John to NICU, he clings to me, becomes very quiet
	& looks at everything but the baby.  He has made comments like
	"I wish Adam was still in your stomach."
	Being a former therapist, I am well aware that the oldest 	
	sibling is dealing w/ the "death" of the perfect baby in his
	mind, & that he is literally grieving. I am interested,
	however, how other kiddos coped w/ this, & ways parents
	can facilitate the healing process.

Also, if there are any older siblings that lived through the "preemie 
experience" that are close to San Antonio, please call me either at
(210) 340-3000 (office) or (210) 520-8619(home). I think John would 
greatly benefit from the support of another kid, or at least the 
commonality of experience.

Thanks!

Jackie (Mom of Adam 24 wks, 1lb 13oz, born 5/2/96, currently a NICU 
preemie at Methodist Hosp., San Antonio, & 2 normal babies, Garrett, 
wild 21 month old & big brother John, 9 years old)