preemie-l Perception of Preemies from the "Outside"
Todd, Suzanne and Glenn Palmer (tpalmer@indirect.com)
Thu, 13 Jun 1996 22:26:25 GMT
I too have never seen an article or news story that didn't portrey premature
babies as anything but "tiny babies." Even the stories that touch on the
extremely premature babes always have a sugar-coated ending.
I think this is a great injustice to us all, on each side of the fence.
It alienates us, as preemie parents, because most peoples' reactions are
generally, "You're worrying too much. You need to relax. He'll be fine."
I could have throttled so many people when Glenn was in the hospital. It
was always, "What, that baby isn't home yet?" and "My kid was 5 lbs when he
was born and he came home the next day; what's the big deal?" My MIL, when
she came to the NICU for the first time, looked at Glenn through the
insolette, ignored his excessive body hair, drawn expression, panting
breaths, and scalp IV and proclaimed, "There's nothing wrong with him! He
just needs some TLC." Yeah, sure, whatever.
I don't know if there's a way to make anyone who hasn't experienced it
understand it. It seems having a preemie is also a good source of criticism
for some. My SIL criticizes my parenting style (I keep a schedule, but also
adjust it to his needs, ie if he's tired, we cancel the shopping trip we had
planned) and she blames my "unwillingness to shape the baby to MY schedule
(aka what SHE wants me to do) on the fact he was premature and I'm overly
attached to him. Sadly, she hasn't been able to conceive a child yet, so I
try not to get upset at her comments. I think she'd feel differently if she
had a baby of her own.
Anyway, here ends my editorial!
Suzanne (Mom to Glenn, 34 weeker, 8.5 months)