preemie-l Introduction Letter - New Member

dickerg (dickerg@macmail1.swindon.rtsg.mot.com)
10 Jun 1996 10:59:14 +0100 

Dear all,

Hello, my name is Gabrielle from England and I would like to introduce you to
my family.  My husbands name is Jason, and our daughter is Harriet Florence
May (named after both of my Grandmothers).  Harriet was born on 4/4/96, 27
weeks, 2lb 4ozs.  I had a dream of a pregnancy up until 21 weeks.  Then
everything changed.  Over the next six weeks I was rushed into hospital four
times by ambulance due to severe haemorraging.   Each time staying in for a
week for tests,  scans, etc., and rest.  Each time not getting any answers to
why this was happening.  On the fourth admission, things were really not
looking good.  The bleeding this time would not stop and her heartbeat dipped
to 40 beats per minute.  The next thing I knew I was rushed into theatre for
an emergency C section under GA.  I was told it was her only chance of
survival at 50/50 (extremely good odds under the circumstances I later found
out).  Because of threatnened delivery over the previous weeks, I was lucky
enough to have three sets of steriod injections for her lungs.  Because of
this Harriet was only ventilated for 8 hours!  Over her stay in SCBU, Harriet
suffered from infection, stomach distention, feeding problems, jaundice,
collapsing veins, valve ductus, umbilcus hernia and retinopathy of
prematurity.  Despite all of this, Harriet was dischared at 8 weeks weighing
4lb 6ozs - a real fighter.  Apart from developing asthma at 7 months old and
the ventilator which caused damage to her larynx (scrottle) making her
breathing noisy and husky, she is a perfectly healthy little girl.  I know
were are lucky and never a day goes by where we dont't count our blessings and
thank God above.  But, even after all this time, I still find it so hard to
accept what happened.  It still upsets me (many times to tears) even to this
day.  I still find it hard to to cope with the knowledge that we could of lost
her.   I think not knowing 'why' this happened is alot to do with it.  No one
ever explained it to me which left me feeling guilty, thinking maybe it was my
fault - something I done wrong.  I was never offered councelling at any stage
and was not put in touch with any support groups.  Also, as my husband is in
the Armed Forces, he got sent away for 5 months on duty when Harriet was just
3 weeks old in intensive care,  This also contributed - coping alone.

I would dearly love to hear from other parents who feel the way I do. 
Sometimes I feel so alone and maybe that I should'nt be feeling like this one
year on with a healthy little girl. I would also like to talk about
development as I have a few concerns in this area too.

Many thanks for taking the time to read my letter and I look forward to
'meeting' with you very soon.

Kind regards,
Gabby Dicker 
(33 years old, extremely proud Mummy to Harriet, 14 months old, 18lb)
   

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