RE: another baby, labor rooms, and all that
Cindi Winkley (cindiw@zianet.com)
Mon, 1 Apr 1996 15:27:50 -0700
Stacey,
I agree! I had no more sleep the 8 days I was trying to keep from =
giving birth than the 3 1/2 months after Nicolas came home from the =
hospital! Between all the noise, the constant checks by the nurses and =
the phone calls, naps were impossible.
I was lucky enough to be in a hospital with all private rooms who tried =
to keep all the high-risk moms together in one hallway, but there was =
definitely room for improvement.
Cindi Winkley, mom to Nicolas (26 weeker, now 9.5 months old)
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From: Gary Shuman [SMTP:gshuman@ix.netcom.com]
Sent: Monday, April 01, 1996 12:49 PM
To: preemie-l@vicnet.net.au
Subject: another baby, labor rooms, and all that
After Carly was born (25 weeks 1 lb 8oz) we decided not to have anymore=20
children. My cervix was so weak and incompetent and scarred that=20
doctors doubted I could carry another baby to even 25 weeks. So when=20
Carly was 11 months old and I found out I was pregnant again I was=20
devastated. I had just gotten over the guilt of one premature birth and=20
could not fathom going thru it all again. My body showed no signs of=20
rejection so three stitches were put in at 12 weeks and my life was=20
invaded by TOGOS and relatives with every advice in the world. In '86=20
Togos was still in its infancy so they took only what insurance would=20
pay and didn't ask us to make up the difference.
Dustin made his appearance 6 weeks early. Even though he came early the=20
labor and all were very normal. I was not worried because as far as I=20
was concerned I was full term. When I was put in a labor room with all=20
the perks of a "real mom expecting a real baby", I realized that this=20
might not be too bad. I had a super easy delivery instead of a tearful=20
one. I got to sit up to see my baby instead of being too drugged to sit=20
up. I heard his loud cry instead of quiet murmurings of the attendants.=20
I held him in my arms instead of being held down during my D&C. And I=20
was wheeled out holding him to show off to a gallery of admirers=20
instead of quiet condolences. It was totally worth it! Worth every=20
greasy lank of stringy hair on my head, every missed bath, every=20
contraction I had to record -- everything! I know the second time=20
around may not be the same for everyone, but the way I felt I needed to=20
feel that one success before we called it quits. Three years later I=20
had to have a Hysterectomy, so I am so grateful that I got to=20
experience such a wonderful pregnancy -- despite the six month's bed=20
rest.
It seemed to me I had more problems with friends announcing their=20
pregnancies to me than uncaring nurses. My first hospitalization was=20
only five days long, yet in those five days 3 girls came to visit me to=20
announce they were pregnant. The idea! Did they expect something from=20
me? When the 3rd girl came to visit (not a personal favorite of mine) I=20
very snottily said "Excuse me for not turning cartwheels as I'm=20
confined to bed." She made a hasty retreat and never came to visit me=20
again. I am ashamed now but back then that was my only defense. The=20
nurses were sweet and understanding if not a little naive. They kept=20
hovering asking me if I needed anything or if I just wanted to talk.=20
Then we had problems with the people who felt they were helping by=20
coming and staying for an hour. Some even ignored the NO VISITOR sign=20
and just barged in. One afternoon I was exhausted from visitors all=20
morning, so I unplugged my phone so I could sleep. A friend called from=20
work and when I did not answer my phone she called the nurses station=20
in a panic saying there was something wrong. The nurse bounded down the=20
hall and burst in on the best nap I had had for weeks.=20
I wish hospitals would set up a constant care ward for expectant=20
mothers that are visitor restricted, allowing moms to get quiet and=20
rest. More hospitals need to realize these are not just sick ladies but=20
ladies carrying lives that depend on them to survive. Regular wards are=20
no place for high-risk pregnancies.
Stacey, mom to Carly 10,and Dustin 9