Repeat peemies

Cris Coffey (CCOFFEY@rugs.bry.indiana.edu)
Tue, 26 Mar 1996 13:44:31 EST5


I've only had one child, and he was only 4 weeks early, but I DID go 
in to pre-term labor at 19 weeks and was bedridden for the next 16 
weeks or so.  There IS no explanation for my case--my cervix was not 
weak, I had no infections to cause it.  I can't help but feel that I 
might have done something wrong to cause it.  You know...maybe I 
walked a little too much at the mall the day the trouble started.  
Maybe I lifted a box that was just a tad too heavy.  Anyone else feel 
this type of self-blame?

The doctors are not sure of my chances of this happening again since 
they don't know the cause.  I have been warned that during my next 
pregancy they will be watching me like a hawk, and that I will more 
than likely end up on a home monitor twice daily--troubles or no 
troubles--as a precautionary measure.  It's enough to scare me in to 
not having another child.  Being in bed and totally helpless for 4 
months is devistating and humiliating, not to mention causing a huge 
financial strain.  Is there anyone else out there who feels the way I 
do?

I'm also terribly envious of pregnant women I see wandering around 
the mall, grocery stores, work, etc.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very 
happy for them.  I just feel that I missed out on the joys of 
pregnancy because I was not even allowed to shower or care for myself 
and was never able to be out and about.  Am I horrible for being that 
jealous of mothers with normal pregnancies?

Cris