Re: Introduction/N.I.C.U Experience

Judyth_L_Zahora_at_CV-Wayne@msgate.cv.com
Fri, 15 Mar 96 14:12:49 EST 

     
     This has been a very difficult discussion group for me.  My triplets 
     were seven weeks early.  My biggest son (Greg) was 4.1, my daughter 
     (Sarah)was 3.11 and my littlest son (Matthew) was 3.1.  The boys both 
     needed bili lights for a week and Greg needed oxygen supplement for 
     the first 3 days of his life.  
     
     Reading about other people's NICU experiences have brought back 
     memories of a very difficult time in our lives.  I haven't really 
     thought about this for a long time (our children are now 3).  It is 
     true that God is kind and you only remember the good stuff!  
     
     I delivered early because of pre eclampsia (spelling?).  I had 
     received steroids for lung development over the 4 days I was in the 
     hospital before birth.  That must have done the trick, because nobody 
     had any serious lung problems.  I never really considered having the 
     babies early or the consequences thereof (ignorance is bliss).  I had 
     high-risk specialist for my doctor and arranged to have the babies in 
     a hospital accomplished saving high risk babies. 
     
     We were really lucky in a lot of ways despite my head-in-the-sand 
     attitude.  There were hard parts:  the part where I went from being a 
     big women pregnant with 3 to just being too big for my pants and no 
     babies to bring home (they were in the NICU for 2 weeks and step-up 
     nursery for 3 weeks).  We lived 1 1/2 hours away from the hospital, my 
     husband worked 2nd shift and the babies were born in January.  This 
     was difficult because we only got to get down to the hospital 4 
     times/week--I was sure that the nurses were talking about what rotten 
     and unfeeling parents we were (hormones were crazy).  All the babies 
     lost and gained weight (we were obsessed by every oz each way), need a 
     blood transfusion (from my husband thankfully), eventually learned to 
     suck and swallow.  The tubes were scary, the monitors were scary -- 
     the babies looked like little angels.  It was a very difficult time.  
     At the same time, someone thought they were doing me a favor and gave 
     me a large book about premature infants--it just about put me over the 
     edge. Now that I knew what could go wrong, I looked for signs of it 
     everywhere.  I also had "well meaning" people tell me that premature 
     infants should be nursed.  As if I didn't already have enough guilt, 
     how on earth could I have nursed!!
     
     Every thing worked out fine and for the best (as it often does).  When 
     the children finally came home,I was well and healthy.  They came home 
     on monitors (scary, but I didn't have to watch them to be sure they 
     were breathing) and on a 4 hour feeding schedule.  We were taught how 
     to take care of them while they were in the nursery (our whole 
     experience with children beforehand was in trying to create them) and 
     even learned infant CPR (thank God I never had to use).  The nurses 
     gave us 2 bits of advice we follow to this day (1) keep them on a 
     schedule or you'll be nuts and (2) don't run if one crys--they will 
     not wake each other up.  
     
     We used their adjusted age until about 2.  They were evaluated by 
     Easter Seals periodically for the first 3 years.  At that point Easter 
     Seals told us everyone was fine and to go off and have a good life. 
     They have all developed their own opinions and personalities (good and 
     bad news).
     
     This was very long winded, but the long and short of it all is that I 
     wish there was group like this when mine where in the hospital.  I 
     never knew anyone who had preemies and I had never seen such little, 
     little babies.  It would have helped immensely to know other people 
     who had lived through it.  
     
     Judy (mom to Greg, Sarah and Matt 1/93)