Some thoughts
MarAim@aol.com
Mon, 11 Mar 1996 12:33:53 -0500
Hi!
I'm surprised at the number of posts that mention speech delays, since my son
is speech delayed and noone will say that it could be due to his prematurity!
My books on preemies don't seem to have much to say about speech delays in
32 weekers, either, but in a way it's reasuring to see it's so common in
preemies in general! Finally something I can blame on his prematurity!
Funny thing, though, when David was smaller, I kept looking for problems, I
had a hard time believing that he could be born so early and come out
perfectly fine, and as soon as I gave that up and decided that he's perfectly
normal, he falls behind! Good thing I was past all my worrying, and I'm very
thankful that this is the only long term problem so far! In fact, it makes
me feel a little less guilty for being one of the lucky ones.
After reading other people's stories here, I can't believe all the things
that I don't think about anymore. I tend to forget that David was jaundiced,
many parents of full-termers that I know think of this as a complication, to
me it was a very minor point! And how could I have forgotten about the
bradycardia and that dang monitor! And how long it took to get 15cc down for
those first nipplings! And how he needed to be fed every 2 hours when he
came home, and it took 40 minutes to nurse him and another 30 to pump my
breasts to keep up my milk supply and another 10 to freeze the milk and clean
the pump. Or how I ran to his crib that night sure that something was
terrible wrong only to realize that nothing was wrong except he was hungry,
he had just really, really cried for the first time instead of squaked, as my
mom calls it! Or my first Mother's Day, when he screamed nonstop and started
throwing up bright yellow, and two days later when David needed an upper GI
since they were afraid that he had an obstruction, singing to a very hungry
and upset baby and walking the halls while we waited and waited for our turn
(turns out it was only reflux). Going home on Christmas Day empty handed,
only to have everyone say well, at least you're home for Christmas, and
having to go visit my husband's new cousin, born 4 days before David, almost
2 weeks overdue and having only a poloroid to show.
And yet, David never looked that small to me. Only now, when I pull out the
pictures and his preemie clothes, I'm amazed at how tiny he was, and I can't
believe he was ever that small. The day he dropped down to 3# 3oz. and I
realized that the weights I had used for aerobics were 3 # each, I didn't
know whether to laugh or cry. Not a day goes by that I don't shake my head in
wonder and thank God for him. My heart breaks for those who weren't as
lucky.
All I know is that if the child I'm carrying now goes to term, I will not
take for granted that it's breathing, eating and staying warm on it's own.
Mary