(Copy) Is it normal?

Tom Hannah (TOM@clemson.edu)
Mon, 26 Feb 96 17:13 EST 

Tammy,

Thank you for the WONDERFUL advice!!
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Tom
One of Taylor's nurses alwayse used to say that for every two steps
forward, there's a step back.  Sooooooooo true.
I looked back through my journal, Taylor's first infection came at 10
days old.  Be prepared for a few more.

#### Yes, they warned us that he might face a few infections. I just
     hadn't expected one so soon. He was 14 days old when they started
     the antibiotics.

Taylor had also had two blood
transfusions, besides the one in-utero, by 10 days old and had lost
about 5 oz of weight.

#### Matthew has had three so far. We tell the nurses that it is no
     wonder he needs blood. They take some out of him just about
     every day :)

The weight gain will be sparatic.  He'll gain
well for a couple of days and then lose some.  You have to realize
that *anytlhing* can affect the weight gain, including how much he has
filled his diaper everyday. The pulmonologist used to insist that
Taylor was weighed at exactly the same time of day at exactly the same
time after a feeding. And this was months after he was discharged.
As for the Kangaroo care, let Matthew decide. If he gets stressed,
just touch, but if he's calmer, push for it.

#### Will do. I think we will feel better about it when he has gained
     a little more weight.

I encourage you to get to know the nurses, WELL.

#### I have a friend who is on the construction business. He told me
     a long time ago, "It's fine to know the owner when you buy
     materials, but who I really want to get to know is the guy that
     loads the truck. He's the guy that decides if you get the really
     good lumber or the not-so-perfect stuff". I think this principle
     applies to what you are saying. The nurses spend the most time
     with the babies so I should get to know them well. I couldn't
     agree more.

The nicer you are to
them, the more willing they are to give you more power with your son.
Ask them alot of questions, and ask them to show you how to do things
like take the temp. Even if you know how, have them show you, it makes
them feel better.  Get to know his schedule, Know when he gets
weighed, etc.  Then be there for it.  The nurses absolutly fell in
love with Gary, they said it was so unusual for a father to get  so
involved,  they were used to dad's just standing by while mom did
everything.  Pretty soon, they would let Gar do all of the stuff. He
would go in at a certain time, take the temp. change the diaper, check
all the leads, and record the results.  The nurses spend more time
with your child than the docs do. So butter them up.
I also encourage you and Melinda to keep a journal,

#### Yes, we are trying to start one. It's just hard to find the time
     to wite things down. Part of the reason that I am writing to this
     group is so that I log my mail to make a journal or sorts.

It's helps to be
able to read each others feelings , because sometimes you can't say
them outloud.  Plus it will help you to keep track of how Matthew is
doing.  It's easier to deal with the steps backwards when you can go
back and see how many steps forward he has had.


Tammy, mom to Taylor and angel Alex, and Travis, wife to mostly 'out to sea' Gar
y.