Eclectic 
 – (adj) drawing from a wide variety of sources and styles to meet its ends 

Pelican 
– (n) a dirty great bird with big wings and a funny beak 
 

Synopsis

warning.. don't read this if you want to come along and not know how it's all going to end. On the other hand, don't expect the contents of this page to necessarily equate to what you might eventually find makes its way onto the stage

A blacked out stage. In the centre, a single rostra/platform supports a single chair. Around the stage hang or sit 3 -5 TVs of various sizes and vintages, an old-fashioned typewriter and a small communications satellite. All representing space junk. The monitors are used to display the various vid links, and the broadcasts from the capsule. They counterpoint and interact with the live action. The themes underpinning the piece are communications technology and it's impact on actual communication (Communication failures, both technological and human). Tech hype as we reach the end of the century. Quality of life, versus standard of living. Noise/Silence. Loneliness/Solitude.

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- Launch video
From Darkness the monitors come to life one by one, channel surfing across a multitude of channels and slowly settling onto reports of the launch of the Icarus II, Australia's first manned spacecraft. Buildup to the launch. Reports of the launch and footage of all sorts of rocket launches, Saturn Vs, V2s, Vostok, Buck Rogers, Space Shuttle etc. Finally in full thunder the launch. Then cut to the ads and fade over to the capsule

Capsule
Orbit boredom.. Floating upside down in the chair. Feet slowly cross and tap gently. Hands come together and twiddle thumbs slowly. Looking about... looking up, polishing the window above his head and looking out at the audience/stars.

It's a beautiful.. ermm day.. up here control. What about those stars eh. You feel like you could just reach out and touch em. I know how the early astronomers felt when they were naming the constellations. There are just so many, so many colours that all the old familiars fade away into the galaxy and you have to start all over again. That one over there looks like a.. a young woman.. with glasses, and err red hair I think..hey.. if you really look you can see everything... anything. A galaxy-wide game of 'join the dots'. They're beautiful. Hallo stars.

He starts to flick some switches and clicks a few things. Tries something else.. no luck

Er control.. I seem to have a problem up here. SOL's not responding. Nope nothing on the screen, el blanko. This could get hairy control... yes I've tried that, er no not that, give me a sec control.. ahh

Solitaire appears on a screen

Got it control, SOL's back and running.. thanks for that. You had me nervous for a second. Starts to play. Technology eh.. where would I be without it. How fast am I going again? Wow.

Looks about him.. all is still and slow

Are you sure? Yeah.. it's all relative I guess. Back to looking at the stars Wow... Hums I talk to the stars... (tune of I talk to the trees) that's why they put me away.. sometimes they seem to be staring right back at you. When I was a kid I used to wave to the stars just in case there was anyone up there looking down at me.

Waves nervously

Up here... Sometimes they smile you know and sometimes.. just sometimes I get the idea that the universe is laughing at me. I don't mind I guess. It's nice to think it's got a sense of humour. What do you reckon universe.. 2 of hearts up... yeah.. you're right.. Roger control.. is it that time already.. OK I'm ready for PRB in 3

Cable broadcast 1
Solitaire clicks away, blackout the capsule as he prepares. Monitors click into life with a series of ads and channel surfing coming to rest on the anchor woman "Stella Williams".

Good evening everybody and welcome to meet the stars where tonight we're crossing live to the Icarus II, for the first of an exclusive series of broadcasts from Australia's first spacecraft where Captain Tom Simpson is currently orbiting at a height of 260 km and a speed of 24,000 km per hour. So let's give a big historic g'day to our first space digger, Cpt Tom Simpson. Can you hear us Cpt Tom?

Cross to live link from hand held camera in the capsule

I can hear you Stella, G'day Australia, g'day world. It's a pleasure to speak with you captain... And with you Stella.. call me Tom please,

Intro to the craft, set up of TTT technology. Product placement advert

TTT , or "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow" technology is preemptive error correcting software utilising fuzzy logic hardwired into the circuitry. It accesses a massive database of historical actions, events, causes and symptoms both technological and human. Using this resource it draws premonitory data patterns which can predict short term future sequences with a 98.9% accuracy integer. In short it can predict the future up to 30 days in advance and preempt any problems the Icarus II may get itself into. It is essentially the brains of the ship. . There is of course a dedicated communications computer and a dedicated life support computer but they are controlled in the end by TTT. Such miracles in Aussie technology are allowing us to be here and me to talk to you from 220 miles up and 24,000 km per hour as if we were only next door.

Channel surf video 2
0055 ads, 'sex sells' ads, used cars etc. Fade away leaving the following text.

Capsule

IN SPACE NOONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM

from darkness... a scream

Did you hear that control. Well that about rubs out that popular culture myth. Another old wives tale squashed by modern science... I'm bored control. Watch TV, there's nothing on TV. I know there's 372 channels but believe me there's nothing on.... really.. what now... what channel. Wow.

2001 or Star Wars begins on one of the monitors,

Great...

But it's in Hungarian. Switches off

Bugger. I talk to the stars... Hello yes.. what. Amy sweetheart. Hallo darling, what are you doing there. Did she? Oh. Are you well baby. Sorry, no... you're not a baby, are you well. Oh Ok.. Ok. Feed the birds for me hey.. How did she get in there. Where's her mother? Yeah, um say... Say hello.

Earth Flashback
Tom and Amy in the park feeding the birds

Daddy why are we both wearing these funny suits? It's a flashback Amy, no time or budget for a costume change. Oh.. Ok.. Mummy says you're not really going into space, she says you're going to hide in a little hole in Coober pedy, but then she says that you've been off the planet for as long as forever so who knows and anyway and she says it's the BEST thing that could have happened to any of us and all of us and.. and.. and... That's a big one. If I feed him up really big will he be able to fly up and visit you in Coober pedy space?

Vid link we're proud.
Vox pop on the streets of all shapes and sizes all saying, we're proud, very proud, it's great. Famous Aussies series, big flag waving session.

Capsule

GOING BOLDLY WHERE NO MAN HAS EVER GONE BEFORE

Back to the audience, squirming, tension, release.

One of the Apollo astronauts was asked, what's the most beautiful sight from space. Urine dump at sunset... it's beautiful, the spray freezes and floats along outside the window with you like tiny UFOs, each one a rainbow in itself, opals in the void. Sometimes looking out at them and the watching stars I come to the firm conclusion that the universe is taking the piss. Taking the piss. Makes me laugh.. Those stars are beautiful. I can see them even when I shut my eyes. Close your eyes and watch carefully, as you relax into it the stars come out to play. Galaxies, novas, red giants, white dwarfs, black holes and comets. The universe behind your eyelids, it's all there. It's all there.

Broadcast
Stella fires up again and into second broadcast this time asking the question,

so how did you become an astronaut.

Rigorous testing Stella, rigorous testing and even more rigorous training. I was examined physically, psychologically and spiritually and eventually given the bill of all round health and aptitude for the job. But within all of this ASEF, that's the Australian Space Exploration Foundation, were also looking for a normal everyday bloke, a good and decent representative of good and decent Australian's across the nation..

Centrelink Flashback
Job advertised on the computers, several of which don't work of course. Training, all meals, accommodation. Involves travelling....

Round Table Meeting
Discussingthe Icarus 1.

It was a successful mission until the passenger (first Koala in space) chewed through her restraints and ate the experiments. Took some nice photos though (image of grinning koala - self portrait polaroid). Then the RSPCA kicked up a storm, which has rather shut down the marsupial angle for future flights. I'm afraid there's nothing for it... we have to send a human.

But they'll touch my buttons... humans always want to touch my buttons, it's been proven in dozens of study... give a human a button and they will press it, and booms your daddy

Then don't give them a button then.

Capsule

aside

I fitted the space suit. So they trained me up in wild and wanton use of acronyms and TV presentation technique.

Back to broadcast

Rigorous testing Stella, psychological and physical examinations and intense training. It was tough but I'm here to prove that it's possible and more than that.. any of you out there could do it too.

We've got to let you go now Tom, Control informs us you have an EMI in 5 minutes.

Err yes that's right Stella. Best get back to work.. Great talking to you. This is the Aussie bloke in the tin can signing off, good night, goodnight Stella.

Looks up emi on a list. Ah right.. Control can I confirm we are go for EMI. Roger control, counting it in.. EMI minus 10... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 bing Microwave acting We're all green on EMI, control. Successful EMI completed. Evening meal insertion... I think they sell that one out as Ellipse manoeuvre Implementation downstairs.. it's a game. Two minutes to EME, followed closely by EMD

Acronyms game...

Time for a CRP... consciousness respite period.

Vid link Tech stuff.
Acronyms galore, laser eye surgery and satellite guided bombs. Collateral damage, sanitise, neutralise, now with v.90, Pentium, K6-3D, with TNT Riva 500 and 1024K or pipeline burst Synchronous Dynamic RAM. It'll make you kewell.

To reports of the supply ship launch and explosion... again clips from allsorts of launches and failures To ads,

Capsule

Good morning ctl, I've had a lovely CRP thankyou and am looking forward to the MMI, can you confirm green light go for MMI? Roger control we are g.. hang on .. what was that again please control.. I repeat are we go for MMI.. what do you mean no? I'm hungry up here. Why do we have to adjust the rations.... It did what? Oh.

The bad news is the supply rocket blew up 3 minutes into the launch.. the good news is that it scattered your next 3 months supplies all over a famine struck corner of Ethiopia and you've become a local god, the bad news is ASEF can't get another launch ready and funded soon enough. The good news is we've found someone who can... the bad news is it.. er comes with commercial conditions.

Vid broadcast

Well it's been a bit of a tight week up here you might say Stella, but we've got through, thanks to the boundless generosity of "Noname" canned goods and their delicious simple to prepare, fibre packed... bean based miracles. I'm eating better than ever.

You're still our popular favourite down here Tom.

Thanks Stella.. signing off...

Popular as a fart in a space suit. I'm 260 Km up, going at 24000 kph leaving a trail of baked bean cans behind me and waiting to turn into a methane fireball that'll take out what's left of the Ozone layer. This is not funny, this is not what it's supposed to be like. I've seen the movies.. all of them.. this is not real...

Vid link Sci fi flick through.
Counterpointing various Sci fi genres and favourites, old and new.

TTT failure
The TTT computer, looking 30 days into the future comes up against a dilemma as the clock ticks over into december 1st 1999. It scans it's database urgently for a solution but can only come up with the one. A victim of the millenium bug it realises that in 30 days it will become the year 1900. In a small puff of smoke it dissapears leaving behind a handwritten scrap of parchment.

I have not been invented yet.

Much panic and soul searching..

- I don't know how any of this works.. none of it, not even the clock, especially not the microwave..its all miracles.. every bit.

Mum's phone call
Following a deep and meaningful moment he is interrupted by the chirp of a mobile phone. Break out of theatrical convention.

OK whose is that. Come on, well answer it.. come on, show yourself you selfish bastard, come on.. let us see y... hang on.

Dives under his own seat and scrabbles about till he comes up with a small bag. Opens it, pulls, out deodorant, breath freshener, a brown paper bag, a hanky, socks/jocks and finally a mobile phone.

Hallo.... Mum!. It's so good to hear you.. how did you get this onboard?.. That nice man in control?... Mum you didn't.. it doesn't matter it's great, it's great.. yes .. yes.. now listen.. no mum.. no.. mum ... mum.. Why can't you talk now? OF COURSE IT'S LONG DISTANCE... no wait.. Bugger... OK ok ok..

Dial feverishly...

Battery?? Battery???...

Space walk to satellite

Puppet suit in finger size, man size and possibly intermediate size. Much playing about with zero gravity, disorientation, smallness in the galaxy, claustrophobia in the suit. Space walk guided by deodorant and breath freshener boosters.

Internet Chat
Reaches the satellite...

Why don't they make these things more user friendly?

Finds a hatch and keyboard/mike/screen area. Can't use the mike cos he's in the space suit but can clumsily tap on the keyboard. He manages to log onto the Internet and finds himself in a chat room.

Hiya.. F/22/Cal here.

HELP

ASL

What's ASL?

Age Sex Location

Oh.. er.. 33 Male erm Orbit.

Farout

Well yes

Cool

Enough..

Lol... Wanna cyber?

What's a cyber?

Lol... You know - cyber sex... mmmm? I'm 34, 24, 36.. blonde AND intelligent, but right now just want your virtual body.. wotsay?.

Oh.... how does this cyber sex go...?

.. you talk dirty to me... I talk dirty to you, and we touch ourselves....

Looks down at space suit...

Er.. I don't think that's going to work...

OK.. lol.. bye now..

No wait..

Last user has logged off...

HELPPPP

Vid link URL's and Internet hype galore

More space walk Reconnect with control. Use the old baked bean cans trailing out behind the capsule to make up a Can and string coms link between satellite and capsule. Orbital integrity compromised. For some reason as yet undetermined, possibly due to the failure of SOL/TTT or maybe a collision with a baked bean booster rocket. The orbit of the capsule is disturbed and begins to decay.

You seem to be going from a UTC orbit to a C&B orbit.

UTC UTC.. checks acronym list, (Up there Cazaly) .. OK Ive got that one.. C&B.. . what's C&B... er control.. I can't seem to reference C&B orbit properties.. what the hell is a C&B orbit..

Er..roger Icarus II that would be a crash and burn orbit we're afraid.. or more technically accurately a BURN BURN BURN orbit...

Note - Gets fuzzier still from here on in. Essentially he makes a variety of attempts to correct the orbit manually (Get out and push), the vid broadcasts continue but his audience is waning and the sponsors for each broadcast become less and less significant. Ie: McDonalds, to Hungry Jacks to Jim's Fish and Chippery on the high street. Eventually even Stella leaves the anchor woman post, his controller on earth gets offered the job of coordinating the opening ceremony of the Olympics, and he is all but abandoned to his plight.

Could you unplug from the satellite you're stuffing the reception for millions down here.

Finally he approaches reentry alone. He handwrites (or possibly types on an old fashioned type writer that is floating around in space as space junk) a letter to his daughter and folds it into a paper plane before launching it toward the planet. Watching it fly away for the longest time, then reentering the craft. The screens broadcast the frenzy of new years eve 1999 as he makes his final broadcast. Fireworks, parties, people hiding in bunkers, road accidents..

His picture fading and breaking up on the central monitor.

Control.. Stella.. if you're listening.. if you can hear me.. look up. Make a wish.

Monitors all cross to noise and lights black out on the capsule.

END

If this were a film.. after the credits had rolled the last thing you'd see would be a slightly charred paper plane coming to rest on someone's lawn. As it's a play.. maybe we'll dump 20 paper planes from the ceiling as the lights go down.

Awe is important. It's important for people to have something to be in awe of.
We've got to give them Awe.
Awe else.