Topics of Discussion
When you expect your baby to die

wisdom from the Preemie-l e-mail group           http://www.preemie-l.org

"At the age of zero to four weeks you can with some justification equate a baby’s character with his overall resilience, and by such standards our son was a fighter as tough as any Spartan soldier come to make his stand at the narrow defile against a thousand well-armed barbarians, taking all the cuts and spear thrusts they could inflict and still tottering on, forever willing to come back, and back again, at the slavering horde; but it finally had become clear that after twenty-nine days of struggle his opponents were growing in number and fierceness of attack and at some point he must submit......[When Olivier died] the image that recurred in my mind came straight from the story I had made up over the month and one day I spent with my son, and the image was this: of the two-pint warrior finally laying down his sword and accepting defeat in the battle he had waged over thirty of his thirty-two days of life."

It’s a very powerful article that I recommend to anyone.

I will talk with anyone personally about their situation. E-mail me and we’ll set up a time for me to call you (you don’t need another phone bill at this stage) and we’ll talk as long and as often as you need. This isn’t therapy; it’s support. It’s sharing a terrifying experience. The main reason I’m on the list is to be here when this awful outcome is a possibility or even a reality. I hope this is helpful and informative. There’s more I could say about what to do after a child dies, but that’s maybe not as important right now.

With hope and peace to all in whatever their circumstances,

Edward A. Martinelli, Jr., M.Ed.

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