Topics of Discussion
wisdom from the Preemie-l e-mail group http://www.preemie-l.org
Deana asks, "I gave birth to twin boys on July 31st, Bryce Andrew ( 1 lb 3 oz) and Brett Anthony (1 lb 4 oz) born at 26
weeks. So far both have been having pretty stable nights. To me thatís amazing because I was told they would probably not survive, but it
has been 10 days and they are still fighting strong. Bryce has even opened his eyes and looks around.
Iíve been very weary of buying anything, but my husband has went out and purchased all sorts of things. I feel that is his way of coping. I canít bring myself to get to excited yet because I know they are not out of the woods yet.
I really donít know what to do and how to respond when it comes to putting up "Itís a boy" signs and putting their birth announcements in the paper. They are here whether they make it later or not, but I hate to keep waiting and waiting until they are no longer critical before I tell people Iíve had them. What should I do, all suggestions are welcomed."
Michelle answers, "We did as you are. We waited until they had been out of the woods for a while, which for us turned out to be at Christmas time and sent out their announcements as our Christmas cards (we got them out of the "More than One" catalog). As far as buying things, my husband was more cautious then I was, but we both waited until right before they came home - they came home one at a time."
Ginny relates, "I understand your reticence about announcing the birth of your sons, and Iíd say follow you heart, not your fear. Iíve never bothered with formal birth announcements, but when Zak arrived the first Ďcongratulationsí card we received shocked me; I thought, ĎYes! he is here!!í- it was though I was being given permission to celebrate! One of my sisters even sent me a card with a picture of a mum sat up in bed holding her newborn. My eyes started leaking, I felt so far removed from this; but then I realized it really was just a sign that my sister was just being glad about Zak, regardless of the circumstances- she didnít see the need to tiptoe around his arrival, so why should I! We received so many cards, which I kept on display in the house during the hospital weeks, they really helped me. My father and neighbor both got cards to send, but told me they werenít sure when to do so- we reassured them that they would be very welcome, by this stage Zak was so much a part of everything NOW that not to be glad felt strange!"
Sandy shares "Personally, I feel their birth is worth celebrating. They were born, just the same as any old full-termer! The deserve to be acknowledged that they have arrived in the world! And they are alive. Their precious lives need to be celebrated too, no matter how long or how short those lives are. Sometimes I even thought that *if this short time is all the life my baby gets, then even more so, I want to make the most of it!*"
Amy advises, "My daughter Sivan was born 3/24/99 - 9 1/2 wks early - and is still in the hospital (various
health/insurance problems). We did put an announcement in the paper and my husband put "itís a girl" sign on the lawn the day
she was born - the biggest sign you can imagine!!