Imagine...
 
For most people, it is impossible to imagine what it is like to become a parent of a premature baby...Most people have simple dreams of parenthood, and visions of sitting in a rocking chair as their precious bundle drifts of to sleep...

The *imagine* thread got its start when one preemie-l member, Diane Maroney, asked for some input for a speech she was preparing for a neonatal conference.  She wanted us to describe what it is really like to be a parent of a preemie.
The *imagines* became one of the most powerful and healing threads we have had on   preemie-l.  Another member, Becca Pittelko, was so moved by the strength in everyone's words, that she compiled all the imagines together and posted them to her website.  Please visit "Imagine, stories of preemies" at the web address: http://prairie.lakes.com/~psydd/imagine/imagine.html
Be warned, carry a box of tissue!!
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night soaking wet, knowing that it is months too soon for your baby to be born....
... finding out your baby is breech without enough fluid to turn in, and if you are lucky you can be awake for your c-section and your husband can be with you (you end up not that lucky)...
... lying on your side praying for another day, hour, or minute inside for your baby, yet knowing that with each passing minute the risk of infection looms larger....
... watching the "Get Well/Merry Christmas" message from your daughters that your husband lovingly videotaped and having your heart ache because you miss them so much.....
... hearing the nurse say "I have a mom crashing up here", and that mom is you.....
... the first day that your husband travels home to quickly set things in order after your surprise hospitalization, he is met on arrival with a phone call telling him that you've had an emergency c-section and he has a new baby girl.....
... the first time you hold your baby, her body is covered with monitor wires, and you won't get to hold her again until the next day, and that you (yes, her very own mother) shouldn't hold her too much because you will over stimulate her...
... that baby's big sisters who have been waiting and waiting for her to arrive can only peer at their tiny sibling through the round plastic windows of her isolette........
... the frustration of every gram lost, and the joy when she can try one less tube feeding, and one more nursing...
... going home with your beautiful baby only to return with your baby in respiratory distress a month later....
... trying to console your baby as they poke her sixteen times in an attempt to start an IV...
... watching her stop breathing and her heart rate fall.......
... watching as she is strapped into an isolette and flown to a hospital two hours away- and there is no room for you..........
... having the doctors tell you she will get worse, and then seeing it, unable to ease her pain, unable to help her as she struggles just to breathe...
... your child needs a machine to help her breathe, and she just whimpers instead of cries....
... she gets better and the day you take her home should be filled with joy, but you are terrified...
... that beautiful baby grows,
... truly knowing that life is a precious gift......Becca, mom of Emma 32 weeker, Meagan 4 1/2, and Chloe 3
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