Your thoughts here...
isolation
Continued from page 27     By: Kerry Bone and Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D.
If you are having difficulty with the idea of a winter of isolation, you are not alone. Many other parents also say that self-imposed quarantine is somewhat easier in some ways that the hospital imposed isolation. But the intense fear, and the sense of vulnerability and responsibility is intense. After all, the baby is now in your care. You want to protect your child from harm and prevent a re-hospitalization. Many parents also describe an intense fear that their babies would become infected by a visitor, become extremely ill and have to return to the hospital. While parents don't often openly discuss this, many acknowledge having the valid fear their baby could or would die if infected.

"I had to explain to others that they are preemies, and RSV can kill a preemie." -- Tina, mom to 23 weeker-quads

"My biggest fear was that Sean would contract RSV, be readmitted to the hospital, and die. The fear that bothered me most was that dh (dear husband) would bring something from work. Living with that fear was tough." -- Maureen, mom to 33-weeker

A second battle parents often fight is in explaining to others about their baby's precautions. Many parents are met with uninformed or insensitive comments from people who do not understand the risk their baby faces. Instead of being met with understanding and compassion, parents may be treated as paranoid, hypervigilent, or excessively restrictive. Others may fight your precautions head on instead of readily complying. People may "forget" to tell you of their sore throat or claim allergies. This can further add to your fear that your baby will be unnecessarily exposed to germs.

"I felt like the world was full of ignorant people... when they treated us like we were overdoing it." -- Clark, dad to Thomas

"I couldn't believe when my nurse friend told us our pediatrician was way too excessive, it was time to treat him like a normal baby. Then she told us the hospital had made us paranoid." --Kerry, mom to 31-weeker

Unable to trust that your friends and family will uniformly honor your instructions, you may find yourself feeling angry at their behavior, and anxious about how much you can control their exposure to your child. You even may struggle with how to turn away visits by family or friends who are not respectful of your concerns. Already emotionally separated from others by the experience of preterm delivery, facing disbelief and disrespect may make you feel even more alone than you did when you were alone in your house with your baby!

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