Topics of Discussion
Preemie-l discussion forum http://home.vicnet.net.au/~garyh/preemie_forum/
|Andrea asks, "This may
be just for those who have been out of NICU for awhile.....Alexandra is now 21 months old.
She was born at 28 wks., 2 lbs. 1 oz. I had a real difficult time when she was in
the hospital and for months following. After her first birthday, which was depressing for
me and happy at the same time, I began to really do some major healing. The first year was
behind me, and Alexandra was gaining weight and developing well. Anyway, today I had a
flashback and it was really scary because I didn't expect it and I didn't think it would
still have such an impact on me and my feelings. My daughter's day care provider was gone
last Thurs. and Fri. because her best friend had her baby (FT). This morning she was back
at day care and the first thing she said to me was , "So what module was Alex at in
the NICU?" I told her the number, and she started to cry because her friend's newborn
has congenital heart disease and was put in the NICU at the same hospital where Alexandra
was. She told me she saw "all those little babies" and thought of Alexandra when
she was there. I began to cry because suddenly the picture was so vivid in my mind. I
cried most of the way to work and have been unable to dismiss it from my mind. I didn't
think it would hit me so hard at this stage of the game, but it is something I will never
be able to erase from my mind, I suppose. To all of you who are currently experiencing
this.....I pray for you and know your feelings. For those of you who are at the stage I am
at.....has anyone had a similar experience, or should I "be over it". "
Timothy comments, "My answer to your question
about whether we have had similar experiences is yes and no. I would have to say no
because we are still very involved with the NICU. Our ped. is connected to the hospital so
we visited alot when Harrison first came home. We stay involved with the support group
that meets there. I also rock babies whenever I can get up there on a volunteer basis. We
really haven't been away from the place enough to have flashbacks. But we still get hit by
the strangest things. As soon as the elevator door opens to the floor the NICU is on, my
wife says she gets a funny feeling in her stomach. One time when I was rocking a new baby
came in and was put in the stall right next to where I was rocking. The dad came in all
nervous and excited and scared and asked all the same questions I had. That really hit
close to the heart. I talked to him a little and hopefully calmed him down. When he heard
my son was a third of the size of his and doing well, he seemed to calm down a little bit.
Rock's mom adds, "I understand, when Rock, my son 27 wk 2 lb, was about 16 mos I began to have anxiety attacks. I don't think I ever dealt with all of the pain and heartache of the NICU and it just culminated in these panic attacks which I still have sometimes. I think that it is good that you are crying it out. No matter how old or big our babies get-they will always be preemies to us."
Ginger remarks, "I am still having to deal with my emotions on this. My kids, both preemies, Avery 25.6 weeker, now 5 and Aidan 32 weeker, now 2...it's all so hard to deal with at one time, so I think we get it in doses. I have just learned about this discussion group a few months ago, and am just now able to talk and offer my own opinions etc..to all of you after 5 years! It's a long healing process,especially if you had a long stay in the NICU. Aidan was a walk in the park compared to Avery! But, the feelings were there...plus dealing with Avery's feelings of being a brother and losing his mommy to a hospital for 3 1/2 weeks! It's all hard, but it's a natural progression of becoming well again, and it will get easier. The pang in the heart is definitely still there though!"
Kris writes, "Girl, I felt like I could have written this myself (DH will accuse me of sleep-posting again). We are at 13 months and I am just starting to emotionally heal/forgive myself for my son's prematurity. I have a friend whose daughter is 19 months and she is working through stuff too. You are not alone. There are no shoulds - we get to things when we can. This is a big trauma."
Martin relates, "A lady in the village where we live had a prem baby 18 years ago. her daughter is perfect and is at university. She has been wonderful to talk to, but she still cannot watch any TV programs which involve prem babies, she leaves the room in tears, this is after 18 years."
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