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Topics of Discussion |
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wisdom from the Preemie-l e-mail group http://www.preemie-l.org |
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Sheila observes, "Recently there have been a flurry of births in my family. Hearing about these full term miracles, and
the adjustments these new families are making, underscored for me again, how different the road is for preemie parents. These parents get
the sense that "everything is going to be ok", a few minutes after birth when the apgar scores glow and all the parts come in the
correct numbers.... For preemies....birth is just the first terrifying step...Although it's been 9 years, I still remember the first time I
allowed the thought that everything was finally going to be ok to float briefly across my mind (and please remember, my child was barely
premature at 33 weeks), two days after she was off the vent, they moved her to the "non-critical" room, but still I was "hypervigilant"
waiting for the next 'bad' thing. At one point I left the room to get a bite to eat, pump, wash my face etc.. When I got back, she was
sleeping all swaddled up in her isolette... when I sat down next to her, she opened her eyes, and I could see that she clearly recognized
me, she moved her unswaddled hand toward my hand in the isolette (even though I "knew" it couldn't be purposeful), but I was just
overwhelmed with a sense of calm, she looked like a "regular" baby, I thought to myself "everything's going to be just
fine"....which was the start of the transformation back to regular parent, it didn't end until she was three years old and got the
chicken pox, and I spent three days sitting next to the bath tub or putting lotion on her skin to abate the itchy's and for the first time I
felt *totally* normal. I know that it would have been very comforting to me when I felt "in parental outer space" to hear from
other folks that had "normal" destroyed, that "normal" will return. Do you have a moment that will always be
crystallized in your mind, when you knew your child would survive ? If you are married, was it the same as your spouse? My ex-husband didn't
have any sense of Katie's recovery until she was a year old. He and I had a few conflicts because I wanted to treat Kate as a typical baby,
and he wanted her in a germ proof, people proof bubble. Ironically, he was just starting to feel like a 'regular' Dad, when Katie was
rehospitalized with ITP, and we spent an unendingly long night worried that she had leukemia. It would be very helpful to our new members if
you can take the time to share your stories."
Melissa responds, "The day that I noticed little rolls of fat on Curtis's legs! He was about 4-5 weeks old and weighed about 3.5 lbs." Patti reveals, "After losing our son at 22wks due to a septated uterus and incompetent cervix, we doubted we would
ever be able to have children. I just couldn't go through losing another. I had several tests and a surgery to remove the septum. We then
had to wait a long 6 months before trying again. After conceiving, I had a cerclage put in at 15 weeks. When my water broke at 26 weeks, I
was crushed, but not as much as my husband was. He was in tears. I kept saying, "she has a chance, she's not going to die." Two
weeks later, Jessi was born. She came out crying (unlike our son). We knew then that she was going to make it! We were both in tears....of
happiness. Timothy recalls, "My time came very early in Harrison's life. The story begins on Harrison's birthday. Cara, my wife,
was in the hospital on bed rest due to preeclampsia. I had spent the day teaching high school, coaching swim practice, spending a little
time with her and then I was in class at the local college when my beeper went off. It was the first time it went off so I didn't think it
was mine at first. After a frantic search for change, a short phone call I was on my way back to the hospital with the news that Harrison
hadn't grown in the womb in at least two weeks and they had to deliver that night. They had to transfer Cara to the hospital with the NICU
that could handle such an early birth. I had to load two weeks worth of belongings (I was basically living at the hospital as well) in our
car. By the time the got her to the hospital and prepped it was late in the evening. It had been a very hectic and emotional day to see the
least. I was forced to wait out in the hall while my son was delivered by emergency c-section. What a terribly emotional time for me. I
didn't know if my son was going to make it, I didn't know if my wife was going to be okay and I was all alone in a hallway waiting for the
nurse to come and tell me some news. When they came and got me, I walked in the room and saw my beautiful baby boy laying in the warmer.
They told me he weighed one pound two ounces (520 grams). I looked at him and decided he was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes
on. I asked if I could touch him and when they said yes I put my finger in his little hand and he grabbed the tip so hard his tiny knuckles
turned white. It was as if he was telling me to calm down, everything will be okay. I know it was only a reflex, but at that time I knew he
was going to make it. I could feel it in his grip that he was going to be a fighter and he was going to be strong enough to survive. I feel
somehow he was telling me this with that one little grasp. |
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