Did/Does my child resent me?
To feel resentful, your child would have to hold you responsible for invoking life or death. But you know all too well that you do not hold that power. If you did, you would have made sure your baby was born healthy and at term. Instead, all you could do was hope and pour your nurturing and devotion onto your baby. Because your decision arose out of caring, protection and deep emotional investment, and your baby sensed/senses your love.

I was under so much stress. Did that interfere with my judgement?
While it’s true that you made your decisions under duress, it’s also a fact that these kinds of decisions cannot be totally rational. There is a huge and crucial emotional component to the situation. Your emotional duress actually played an important role in your judgement. It enabled you to make this decision with your heart and gut, not just your mind.

Did I do what my baby wanted?
Because your overriding concern was your baby’s best interests, you may wish you could have asked your baby about his or her own desires. Without absolute confirmation, you may feel unsure if this was what your baby wanted. Do remember, you were in an excellent position for making such a judgement. No one was closer to your baby in blood, body and spirit than you. You may feel like you were merely making your best guess, but your best guess is the best one of all. For a different baby, you might have made a different decision. Trust in your sense of what this baby wanted.

Shouldn’t someone else have made such an important, difficult decision? My feelings of responsibility are such burdens to bear.
You may wish that someone else could’ve decided, someone who knew more, who could think more clearly, who could foresee the future. But there is no such person. Because these decisions deal heavily in matters of the heart, parents are the most appropriate decision-makers. It is a heavy responsibility to bear, but your baby would want you, not strangers to decide.

Will second thoughts always haunt me? How can I stop questioning my decisions?
Whether your baby lives or dies, you will grieve for what might have been. Asking "what if?" is a natural part of your grief. At first, "what if’s" can be sharp and self-incriminating. As you deal with your grief, particularly your anger and guilt, and as you come to terms with your baby’s life and/or death, you will notice a subtle shift. You will come to accept reality—it happened, that was your decision, you can live with it—instead of fighting it. Lingering "what if’s" become reflective daydreams rather than willing reality to change. They may become gentler and broader: "If only he hadn’t been born so prematurely", rather than, "If only I had made different choices." In time you will be able to let go of what might have been and accept what is.