Topics Discussed This Month
calming a cranky baby...continued

Kateri advices, "One thing I was told before I brought Keegan home is this: when feeding him, don't look in his eyes, don't talk and keep the lights relatively low. Preemies get overstimulated so easily and eating is hard enough without any other distractions...We build up a scenario in our heads of how perfect everything will be when our babies finally come home and guess what? It doesn't happen! These babies have been through alot and so have the parents and we all do the best we can in a bad situation. About the bonding: you have been bonding with Bryan. Who spent countless hours in the NICU? If you pumped - how many people do you know who would pump for such a long time (and sometimes get very little results and keep on for the sake of the baby)? Who put their life on hold for the sake of this tiny baby who needed his parents? You did. If this isn't bonding, I don't know what is. Being a parent isn't a bed of roses and isn't all fun - it's also a learning process and boy! I'm still learning! You love your baby and have given him and will continue giving him everything that he needs - I call that bonding and true mother's love. To me, bonding isn't about lovingly looking into your baby's eyes, it's about doing what needs to be done and loving your baby with a fierceness that is at times scary. "

Christy adds, "Iinfant massage..., I think it has made a HUGE difference with my girl. She was very colicky, gassy and constipated, and since I started daily massage, she is such a happy (and regular!) girl. It is quite easy, very enjoyable for both of you, and a great bonding experience.If you think his crankiness might be related to gastro distress, try Maalox. Our ped recommended that we give Macy 1cc 3x a day, and it has worked very well."

Tammy remembers, "One thing that us "old timers" always noted is that it is common for preemies to need stimulation in order to calm down. I have seen many quotes from parents who note that in order to calm their kids needs vigorous rocking or patting. One thing that many have said works wonders it a crib vibrator. They are little devices that hook to the side of the crib, and are sound sensored, so that when the baby fusses, it kicks on and lightly vibrates the crib. Swings are a godsend for the daytime hours. Background noise is also helpful. There are so many white noise machines on the market now... I know many parents say that their little ones just can't be put down and fuss and cry when not being held. It is probably as much the stimulation of the movement that they want, as it is the holding. They also tend to like to feel *caccooned*. When laying them down, have blankets rolled up to put at their backs and feet. If you remember, the nurses probably had similar rolls put around them while in the NICU, this is what they are used to. In the womb, they had equal pressure on all parts of their bodies from the amniotic fluid. Now in the real world, they have more pressure on some parts of their bodies, and little or no pressure on other parts. They need the deep pressure for a while. They need the adjustment. I remember when Taylor was a baby, and I would have to pat *hard* (remember that they are used to the resp therapists pounding on their backs) on his back to keep him calm. It drove my mom nuts and she would tell me I was patting too hard. So (just to prove myself to my mom), I would pat lightly, and Taylor would go berserk until I patted hard again."

Karen relates, "My 30 weeker was the fussiest baby in town. Two weeks after he came home he stopped sleeping and decided to use the spare time crying instead. He did this 24 hours a day if I tried to put him down. At his worst he was only sleeping about 4 hours a day, one half hour at a time. I was so sad and depressed, thinking it was my fault. The pediatrician diagnosed it as colic and gave me no support at all. We switched peds and he was diagnosed with reflux. The reflux meds helped a little but no miracle cure. The good news is that he is now 10 months old and rarely cries at all anymore. He is now the happiest baby I have ever seen and that makes me the happiest mom too. The only advice I have is to try carrying him in a snuggli when he is fussy. That was the thing that calmed my baby down the best. Also I had my hands free to do other things. I had to keep moving while I carried him though."