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Coping with the Holiday Blues While Your Baby is Still Hospitalized

What can help?

• Remember that feeling disjointed is normal when your life has been turned upside down. because the holiday season is here does not mean that you are ready to be Just celebratory.

• Allow yourself to adapt to the new realities in your family. The familiar rituals and traditions in your home may need to be modified this year.

• Give yourself an opportunity to create new traditions for your family. The premature birth is a new family reality. Incorporate it into your family in a way that brings meaning to you.

• Remind yourself that family members are usually trying their best that they know how, to help you feel better. They may fervently hope that returning to familiar traditions will bring comfort. If you feel that way too, allow yourself to be comforted.

• Give yourself permission to feel some joy. Despite the preterm birth, you may feel joy that your child survived, is doing well, or may be discharged home. If you have lost a baby, you may feel grateful for any time that you had together. Mixed feelings at this time are normal.

• If you feel that you cannot partake in any rituals of the season, say so. You can step back for now and be outside the life that you used to feel so familiar. Later, you will find a way to make this season meaningful again.

• Decide how you want your baby to pass this first holiday. Talk with nursing staff about something that could be permanently left with your baby to signify your presence, and be a marker of the season.

• Realize that each holiday season is different and unique. Try to find ways to make this time special, and oppportunity to celebrate miracles where you find them.

• If you choose, find a way to share your child with your family. Perhaps videotape or multiple photos will convey your child's personality and the joy you take in him or her. In this way, you can have your baby just a little bit closer to you.

Kerry Bone stays home full time to raise her son Tyler (31weeks), who is now a crawling ball of energy. She sometimes misses her teaching career, but enjoys using what free time she has to work in organizing her son's hospital NICU parents group and writing for this preemie newsletter.