Your Thoughts Here
Kerry Bone
KBone91@aol.com

Dealings
Mara Stein, Psy.D.
Mtstein@aol.com
Deborah L. Davis, Phd
Dmkdavis@aol.com

Welcomes and Angels
Shelley Phelan
shel@intergate.bc.ca

Birthdays
Barb
monkeys@execulink.com

The "blues" topic discussed this month was especially relevant in my household.  My son, Taylor, turns five this month.  It has been five years since I was confined to the hospital bed, restricted to my left side only, wondering each day if my son would be born that day.  At the same time, grieving the loss of his twin brother, Alex.   The memories are so fresh, even five years later.   I can still smell the distinct 'hospital aroma' of the room. I still break down to tears remembering the uncertainty of each moment. I can also smile. I smile remembering the nurses, coming into my room dawned in sweaters complaining that it was the "arctic zone".  I remember the nurses sitting at my side, weeping with me over Alex, comforting me each day that meant Taylor was getting stronger.  It may have been medical science that  ultimately saved my son, but it was definitely the nurses that saved the moment.   It was the nurses that stayed by bed when things went bad, when Taylor started to crash.  It was the nurses who ran with me, full hospital bed and all, down the hall to labor and delivery.  If not for the nurses quick actions, and constant care, Taylor would  not have survived his birthday.

Then there are the NICU nurses.  It must take a very special heart to be a good NICU nurse.  There were two of Taylor's nurses that I became close to. I truly believe that they loved him ALMOST as much as I do.  They were great comfort during the rough times.   They found little ways to bring cheer to the bleakest of environments.  Things like capturing precious moments in a Polaroid picture.   The one of my husband asleep next to the isolette, brought smiles to not only us, but all of the staff as well.  I treasure the moment one of the nurses handed me my son for the first time, he was over three weeks old.  She was right there with the camera. The nurses made signs, and helped to decorate each isolette.  They found ways to make each baby, each parent feel just a little more special.  We were very lucky to have had such wonderful compassionate nurses.  I think that it made one of the most horrible miserable times our lives, just a little easier. 

Now that we are dealing with the residual effects of Taylor's early start, on a daily basis.  It is from the support of other preemie parents that make things just a little easier.  I have formed some incredible friendships over the internet, with people whom I have never met face to face.  The friendships are based only on the common bond of loving a child born too soon.  Medical technology saved my son's life.  Mechanical technology is saving my sanity.

Tammy, Mom to:
Taylor (born at 28 wks, now almost 5),
Taylor's id twin, and guardian angel - Alex,
and Travis (full term, now 3).
Wife to Gary (mostly out to sea).