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What a wonderful invention Is the good old telephone! But it rings at very awkward times When you're in the house alone When you're halfway through your shower With your hair all dripping wet Or relaxing in a good hot bath It will ring, you can just bet You race to answer, draped in towels, As cold as a cucumber A voice replies, "I'm sorry, but I must have the wrong number" It often seems to summon you When you're busy in the "loo" If you're fast you might just reach it - With all your clothes askew! It always rings on washing day When you're outside pegging clothes Or way down in the back garden When you go to move the hose You race like mad to answer - When you nearly reach the thing Abruptly it stops ringing - To the silent phone you cling You stand there puffing and frustrated Wondering who it could have been But you never solve the mystery - That telephone's so mean! It will ring when you are dozing, Or when you're having tea Or make you miss a vital part Of that program on T.V. When you're chatting on the jolly phone, Things often go awry The cakes will burn, the toast will, too The saucepans all boil dry! Sometimes, I hate that telephone, But it's a "love-hate" kind of thing For, when I'm feeling lonely, How I wish that phone would RING!------(Laura M. Guthrie - 1915-1996)---------- Return to "The Stick Trick" Index Page