"The Telephone" (by Laura M. Guthrie)

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What a wonderful invention
  Is the good old telephone!
But it rings at very awkward times
  When you're in the house alone
When you're halfway through your shower
  With your hair all dripping wet
Or relaxing in a good hot bath
  It will ring, you can just bet

You race to answer, draped in towels,
  As cold as a cucumber
A voice replies, "I'm sorry,
  but I must have the wrong number"
It often seems to summon you
  When you're busy in the "loo"
If you're fast you might just reach it -
  With all your clothes askew!

It always rings on washing day
  When you're outside pegging clothes
Or way down in the back garden
  When you go to move the hose
You race like mad to answer -
  When you nearly reach the thing
Abruptly it stops ringing -
  To the silent phone you cling

You stand there puffing and frustrated
  Wondering who it could have been
But you never solve the mystery -
  That telephone's so mean!
It will ring when you are dozing,
  Or when you're having tea
Or make you miss a vital part
  Of that program on T.V.

When you're chatting on the jolly phone,
  Things often go awry
The cakes will burn, the toast will, too
  The saucepans all boil dry!
Sometimes, I hate that telephone,
  But it's a "love-hate" kind of thing
For, when I'm feeling lonely,
  How I wish that phone would RING!

------(Laura M. Guthrie - 1915-1996)---------- Return to "The Stick Trick" Index Page

-(Published in "Salvaged from Coreys" Volume 2 Issue 1
--- and in an early edition of "Homespun Verses" produced by the Word-Weavers Writing Group)