Molly and Desmond (Peter Elliott)

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This poem is copyright

"I accept this ring that you've bought for me
How long before we are wed?"
"Within a month or two would make me very happy
Am I glad that's over!" Desmond said

Their parents help them with the invitation list
Desmond takes a loan out from the bank
Innundated with enquiries from prospective guests
Molly has to say to some "No thanks"

At the wedding Molly wears a dress of white
She covers up her face with a lace veil
In a borrowed suit Desmond is a pretty sight
All their friends the newly married couple hail

They pose for the photographs down by the sea
Desmond holds Molly to his side
Friends toss big handfuls of confetti
And they take another picture of the bride

They hold the reception at a local pub
Relatives both near and far are there
When Molly cuts the cake her mother starts to sob
Then Desmond cries "Another round of beer!"

The speeches all are witty and they all are bright
The main course is turkey and is good
There is music and there's dancing  Well into the night
And to finish off a serve of Christmas pud'

The couple travel off into the starry night
In a coach drawn by horses four
With signs saying "Just Married" on the left and right
They tumble out exhausted at their door

They must pack their luggage for a week away
Their flight to Europe leaves soon after dawn
"Let's forget about romance until another day"
Desmond says to Molly with a yawn

Molly takes her brand-new husband in her arms
Starting to undo his black bow tie
Kisses him long using all her charms
And Desmond surrenders with a sigh

Molly slips out of her bridal gown
And puts on some slinky lingerie
Desmond says to Molly "This is going to be fun
Let's keep this up until the break of day"

They kiss and stroke each other for an hour or so
Before too long they both are fast asleep
Molly dreams of a big black crow
Desmond of a fish-filled pond that's deep

The crow is standing by a black, black pool
And stoops down low to take a sip
Molly pushes Desmond on the nose
As Desmond tries to kiss her on the lip

Desmond dreams he's piloting a fast speed-boat
Molly dreams she's water-skiing behind
Desmond hits a log the boat can no more float
And Molly says to him she doesn't mind

The alarm clock gets them out of bed at five a.m.
The taxi picks them up they're in good time
But alas they get caught up in a traffic jam
To get onto the plane they have to run

The flight is smooth   The service good  The weather fine
They fly over the Alps all snowy white
Then they see the golden sun start to shine
On the Mediterranean sea so bright

In the plane they watch the in-flight video
Though they do not understand a word
Lots of kung-fu  It's an action show
The fighters move so fast they are a blur

The hostess serves them breakfast on a plastic tray
Desmond eats a chocolate-filled croisant
Then he asks of Molly if he can have hers
And Molly tells him nicely that he can't

In the harbour lie the cruisers and the yachts
Sunny playground of the idle rich
"I like lobster and I'm going to order lots"
Says Molly "Desmond I love you so much"

Below appears the tiny airport terminus
Soon they are coming in to land
And just as was promised there's a courtesy bus
Taking them off to their hotel grand

Molly buys a soft-drink from a French machine
Desmond waits outside and has a smoke
Then they start to talk with another Pom
And soon they're all laughing at a joke

The drive takes them past packed beaches where
Waves lap gently on the sand
Molly opens the window to sniff the sea air
And looks forward to getting nicely tanned

They have booked a hotel in the south of France
For a splendid luxury honeymoon
Every night they stay out late and dine and dance
For them the week is over far too soon