Voltaire (by Thom the World Poet)

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This poem is copyright

Voltaire laughed on hearing this!
And, feeling wise, told his friends about the American astronauts
And the Star Wars and the laser rays
And the rail guns at Watsonia
Failing to mention the spy satellites
Or the space shuttles!
Just keeping to modern history -
To the golden days of NASA and John F. Kennedy
- Not wanting to upset the mythology.

One day a worker said they were ill
From all the chemicals that had been sprayed on the fruits.
'They get into our food'
This worker said,
'They're poisonous!'
Voltaire laughed, and raised the topics of locusts
And disease
And all the things that these chemicals like DDT
And Dieldrin
can prevent!

Voltaire was happy in that job,
Never complaining about the pay and the conditions
Although never seeming to earn very much
Despite how hard Voltaire picked!

One night
While Voltaire was in Voltaire's tent
There were lights and voices
And shouts in many various accents!
Voltaire woke up
With a flashlight on his face
And a huge official
Enquiring about his race!
Half asleep
Voltaire replied
That he, Voltaire, was neither Sri Lankan nor New-Zealand-born
But was in fact an Aussie
With every right to be there!

Quite a few of Voltaire's friends were taken away
For questioning!
The officials were loud and abusive
And Voltaire didn't like them.
But the following day our sun was shining
And so Voltaire went back to Voltaire's picking!
There were fewer pickers at this stage
And harvest was close at hand.
The owners were angry about our immigration raid
But simply hired more hitch-hikers
And got on with work again.

Sometimes Voltaire wondered
How the oranges were made up into chemical cordial,
Never having seen the manufacture of the cordial
But assuming that it was done
Something like with orange juice concentrate.
'Not so!' said Voltaire's fellow-workers
Who told Voltaire more
About the fruit juice industry
Where the percentage of orange juice
Was often minimal.
And told of the Brazilian imports
Of frozen fruit juices
And all the Californian navel
oranges stacked in those plastic supermarkets!
'Dumped on Australia - like US bases!' they said!

Voltaire didn't believe these stories
Wanting rather to believe in the Great Free Enterprise
And the Great Australian Way of Life!
Every time any facts got in the way
Voltaire would dispute them!

One day our owner came to tell us workers
There was a new tax on orange juices!
This had made our picking uneconomical
And our owner now had to shut down our business!
Our owner thanked all of us
And encouraged us
To buy Australian
And keep our economy going.

Voltaire was very grateful
And that very day, after getting paid off,
Went straight to work at a Multinational
Serving orange juice at a Macdonalds.
Perhaps it was the best
Of all possible worlds!

{Peter Elliott's version of Thom-the-Poet's original)