46. Self Improvement

CLASS.—Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky – it also known as an inheritance. It is not something you can cultivate.¶

To call someone classy is recognizing how their personality and manners are almost as attractive as their having large piles of money and to be the likely beneficiary of a family fortune. Class is something that few movie stars will ever have – because they are first generation successes and their simple, dissolute natures mean if their fortune is not vomited, injected or drunk by them, it will be quickly consumed by their children. Please, let us not discuss Gwyneth Paltrow, Michael Douglas or Drew Barrymore. Time is precious – let’s not waste it.

CHARACTER.—Character really does count. The reason is simple : Merchandising.

LOVE YOURSELF.—You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than yourself, and find that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. Just don’t let your parents catch you doing it.

GIVE THANKS.—Give thanks to the force that created you. However you name the force that created you, give thanks for who you are. When you give thanks, you acknowledge your beauty and have the ability to cherish yourself more and more. Now please pass the butter, you ungrateful, inbred fuckhole.

A stitch in time will save time from bleeding to death.