Round The Poll - Previous Results

P R E V I O U S —P O L L S

January 2001 If I could surgically alter my dog, I would...

February 2001 I would like to be famous for...

March 2001 My employer is...

April 2001 What's a good way to remove a blood stain from carpet...

May 2001 Are Online Polls patronising?

June 2001 What is the new Black?

July 2001 What market innovations
should Australis Post pursue?

January 2001

If I could surgically alter my dog, I would...
Change his smell	15%
Lengthen his hind legs	38%
Graft a human ear on to his forehead	8%
Put his testicles out of reach	31%
Give him that gender reassignment she has always wanted	8%

This poll was sponsored by the Drayton Clinic

I would like to be famous for...
being Michael Jackson's inner child	13%
being Michael Jackson's indoor child	38%
being Madonna's outer child	25%
being Mia Farrow's 77th adopted child	25%
being Bill Wyman's child-bride	0%

My employer is ...
A dirty no good rat	0%
A ratty good dirt	0%
A good dirty nose	0%
Monitoring my Internet usage	13%
Looking over my shoulder	25%
Tied up at the moment...	38%
Is that you, Clarice?	25%

What's a good way to remove a blood stain from carpet...
release the hostage	20%
pick up your severed finger	40%
move out of the abbatoir and into rented accommadation	10%
obliterate the evidence by burning down the house	30%

Are Online Polls patronising?
Yes!	71%
Yes?	29%

What market innovations should Australis Post pursue?
Using toasted cheese as envelope adhesive	25%
Promoting pigeons above staff	33%
Mail cremation as a delivery mechanism	18%
Forwarding all mail via FedEx - at government expense	17%
Self-moistening stamps	6%

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