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Australist Gazette - a taste for the 21st Century  

P R E V I O U S P O L L S

January 2001 If I could surgically alter my dog, I would...

February 2001 I would like to be famous for...

March 2001 My employer is...

April 2001 What's a good way to remove a blood stain from carpet...

May 2001 Are Online Polls patronising?

June 2001 What is the new Black?

July 2001 What market innovations
should Australis Post pursue?


 

January 2001

If I could surgically alter my dog, I would...
Change his smell 15%
Lengthen his hind legs 38%
Graft a human ear on to his forehead 8%
Put his testicles out of reach 31%
Give him that gender reassignment she has always wanted 8%

This poll was sponsored by the Drayton Clinic

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February 2001

I would like to be famous for...
being Michael Jackson's inner child 13%
being Michael Jackson's indoor child 38%
being Madonna's outer child 25%
being Mia Farrow's 77th adopted child 25%
being Bill Wyman's child-bride 0%

This poll was sponsored by The National Institute of Ordinary People

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March 2001

My employer is ...
A dirty no good rat 0%
A ratty good dirt 0%
A good dirty nose 0%
Monitoring my Internet usage 13%
Looking over my shoulder 25%
Tied up at the moment... 38%
Is that you, Clarice? 25%

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April 2001

What's a good way to remove a blood stain from carpet...
release the hostage 20%
pick up your severed finger 40%
move out of the abbatoir and into rented accommadation 10%
obliterate the evidence by burning down the house 30%

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May 2001

Are Online Polls patronising?
Yes! 71%
Yes? 29%

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June 2001

What is the new Black?
New Black 8%
The old Black 0%
Classic Black 17%
Black is Black 25%
I want my baby back 33%
Ecru 0%
Et tu, Brutus 8%
White 8%

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July 2001

What market innovations should Australis Post pursue?
Using toasted cheese as envelope adhesive 25%
Promoting pigeons above staff 33%
Mail cremation as a delivery mechanism 18%
Forwarding all mail via FedEx - at government expense 17%
Self-moistening stamps 6%

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