Sunday, August 18, 2002
Another National "I'm sorry I slept with your sister" day passes by.
Organisers of this national day of marital reconciliation disagree on the reasons for low attendance to this annual event. Some believe it to be a good thing - that it shows a decline in sleazy troubled marriages being broken by fraternal affairs. Other members of the board believe it is really a result in a dramatic decline in sorrow and a decline in women entering the convent life. Not men entering the convent.
posted by Special K 4:48 PM


High Smug Levels Recorded in 6000
Self Satisfaction Exceeds Previous Standards of Modesty and Propriety
The city council of 6000.com announced today that high smug levels exceeding state and federal standards of bourgesois decency & self-effacement have been recorded in the past week. 6000 Mayor/CEO Director Doug Bollard noted that more than half of the smug levels in the area is caused by cars and houses, and said, "It’s especially important during these periods of higher smug levels to do all we can to keep make people feel more insecure and less self-satisfied. That means driving less: taking the bus, carpooling, or combining car trips - you know the humiliiating & boring activities that build communities." Bollard added that children and people with low self esteem or working class attitudes are most at risk from high levels of smugness.
posted by Special K 4:35 PM

Monday, August 12, 2002
Monopoly's days are numbered
Authorities in Australis are eager to break up the famous boardgame, Monopoly's, near total dominance of the lucrative "land and landlord community simulation" game market. New players in the market such as Oligarchy and US Hegemonic Invasion will now be able to apply for generous government assistance programs.
posted by Special K 4:12 PM

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