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Getting to know any country is never easy. Getting to know the real country can be slightly harder.

In fact, some of our more philosophical travel researchers say the only way to really know a country is to be born there. This pretty much means our more philosophical travel researchers are close to damn near useless.

That is why we have had to blackmail, cajole and bribe some of the world's most well known publicity-bulimic celebrities to share their narrow insights into a country they hardly know.

And then re- employ our more philosophical travel researchers to sub-edit these sound bites into possibly accurate accounts of life in Australis.

10

Bests, George Peretz

29

Bests, Archibald Leach

30

Culture, Parades

42

Bests, Winona Heifetz

43

Culture, Songs

50

Culture, An Australist Meal

63

Best, Adolph Marx

68

Health Insurance Tip

75

Telephone Tip

79

Bests, Allen Konigsberg

86

Putpockets Tip

90

Tipping Tips