42. Recreation

ANGLING.—The process of creating an excuse to go fishing.

RAIN SPOTTING.—To only attend outdoor sports events when it starts raining. There is another more popular variation where you attend outdoor sports events when it is not raining.

SOOTBALL.—Chase the chimney - sweep’s son. Only stop when you are tired. The little lump of coal wins if he isn’t caught but he loses if he gets thrown in the river. Even more fun with a Van Demonian child.

THROWING THE HAMMER.—This is a euphemism for masturbation – and although a popular recreation, no account of it has a place within the realm of this Yokel entry. For god’s sake, you’re on the Internet!

CLASS EEK!—A common Saturday night ritual in towns and cities across Aust.: old people spend the evening in their cars, playing 18th century classical music VERY LOUDLY as they slowly do laps around their civic centre, arts precinct and local library.

“Judge a man by the production values of his pornography.” Justice De Leahy.