10. Communications

AREA CODES.—UHF Frequency 476.475 is restricted for use by teenagers to anonymously call people “wankers”.

SPECIAL PHONE NUMBERS.—

• 08080 : I love you instant call back – no charge phone call if under 30 seconds and within 1 minute of previous phone call.
• 55555 : Operator Pickup Line
• 07070 : Emergency Excuse (Ask operator for emergency alibi. Or use any of the following :
  • “The gas company had to fit a new meter and they turned off the gas. I found this out only when I had to have my shower and then, of course, I had to light the pilot and wait for the water to heat…”
  • “She’s just had a baby, she won’t be back for a few weeks. Her boss is away at training. The office is being painted.”
  • “My battery is running out, so we’ll have to talk quick…”
  • “I lost my car keys.”
• 01414 : Mid - life Wake - up calls
• 66606 : Vulnerable Babysitters
• 72727 : Changed Number, Changed Mind directory
• 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 : Wrong Number Announcement – Generous charges apply to callers of these numbers

OFF THE RAILS.—Ever since Australist Post started transporting mail by rail, people have been over – enthusiastically sending articles through the post. Some people have begun complaining about their fool of a brother in Bayleaf, who is mailing his local phone directory – one page per letter. Others complain that these letters never arrive and all they receive is twenty letters a day from someone else’s sister who is mailing their local newsletter to their own sibling, one page per letter. This could have dire consequences. Stop it at once. Is that clear?