HOUSING.—Animals should be housed in small cages, with no more than four types to a single cage as many different species of animals have a tendency to “quarrel”.

FEEDING.—Housed in such a manner, animals often produce offensive smells - those of you spend time around the elderly may well be familiar with this sulphurous perfume. ( DID YOU KNOW in Van Deimen’s Land this stench will qualify You for the Pension. ) The feeding of your animals will also require expenditure on a variety of staple foods – including replacements for the smaller and tastier inmates.

BREEDING.—Generations of in - breeding should have little effect on your animal - husbandry capabilities ; however, in time, an out - cross with an unrelated debutante from a near by town may become necessary to both expand your estate as well as maintain your seigneurial vigour.

EXHIBITING.—Inevitably, at some point, this wife will want to “come out” of the kitchen. This is an excellent time for her to exercise the animals.

Essential conditions for a pig : warmth, dryness, plenty of room, shaky marriage, short and violent temper, guns