Asperger Syndrome Support Network (Vic) Inc.

Experiences - This is a first hand revealing account.

Successful management strategies for coping with high-functioning autistic people.

Don't take behaviours personally

Autistic people can often display behaviours which can be embarrassing, annoying and, more often than not, you may feel angered or stressed by what the person has done. However, most of the time, autistic people do not mean for their behaviours to be interpreted the way they are. Due to their inability to empathize with other people, they find it very difficult if not impossible to understand the effect their behaviours have on others around them.
 

Whenever possible, communicate on a literal level

Autistic people often interpret language literally. Try to communicate with them on a literal level as much as possible. Before giving them instructions, ask yourself how it could be interpreted literally. Don't use slang terms or phrases when speaking to them either. For example, using phrases such as "You're not the full can of coke today are you?" their likely response would be "But I'm not a can of coke! ".
 

Prepare the autistic person well in advance for any changes in their daily routine

Autistic people often have a lot of trouble coping with any changes in their daily routine. Change can bring about feelings of anxiety and/or frustration for the autistic person. Unexpected change can result in the autistic person displaying unpleasant or intolerable behaviours, such as tantrums or aggressiveness. Try and make the person's day as predictable as possible, i.e. doing everything in a certain order with set time slots for each of them. You will find that they will most likely insist on their surroundings remaining the same, e.g. sitting in the same spot for meal times, objects and appliances etc. staying in the same spot all the time.
 

Concentrate only on trying to change behaviours which are intolerable - don't worry about the behaviours which are simply odd

Particularly with high-functioning autistic people, it is quite possible to help them successfully change behaviours which are unpleasant, e.g. tantrums, biting and some obsessive behaviours. Attempting to change behaviours which are just odd will only tire you out and bring about feelings of frustration, anxiety and distress between yourself and the autistic person.
 

Whenever possible, avoid speaking to the autistic person in a loud voice

Many autistic people are very sensitive to loud levels of volume and are particularly sensitive to criticism. Speaking in a loud voice or even yelling at them only results in the autistic person feeling anxious or fearful. Quite often autistic people can misinterpret loud voices for being angry voices. If you do not like what they are doing, speak to them in a firm but calm voice.
 

Don't expect the autistic person to respond to emotional pleas

Autistic people have extreme difficulties with empathizing with other people. It is often difficult for autistic  people to understand that other people have real feelings and emotions just like them. Therefore, crying when they do something to upset you probably won't have much of an emotional impact on them. Expressing anger in front of them can often achieve very little as well. They may either fail to understand why you are feeling angry or they may interpret your anger as you being horrible to them.
 

Try and remain patient when the autistic person throws tantrums

Regardless of age, some autistic people will throw tantrums as a way of expressing their anxiety and/or frustration. Although it is more common for autistic children to throw tantrums than for autistic adult, you still need to have patience in dealing with the autistic adult as well. If possible, try removing the person from the stimulus causing the distress and therefore distracting them. If they have previously practised any relaxation techniques which you know of, encourage them to make use of the techniques. Otherwise, playing some of their favourite music may help or allowing the person (more often children) to play with water or to watch water run can often be successful as well.
 

When communicating to the person, use a combination of visual and verbal cues.

Due to a comprehension deficit autistic people often fail to understand instructions. For example, if you want the autistic person to sit on a chair, make sure they can see you and pull the chair out, pat the base of the chair and addressing them by name, ask them to sit down on the chair. Make sure you praise them for co-operative behaviour.
 

Don't assume that they are just ignoring you if they don't respond when you talk to them

Autistic people have a comprehension deficit around visual and auditory stimuli. The correct terms for these are visual and auditory perception. They may see an object, person or situation but fail to grasp meaning out of what they see. Or they may hear certain sounds or hear somebody talking to them, and although they can hear every word, they fail to grasp any meaning out of what is being said to them. This is a result of their brain either taking a long time or failing altogether to filter the message in order to get meaning out of it. This comprehension deficit would best be likened to a non-autistic person trying to get meaning out of what is being said to them in another language. They may be able to hear the person speaking, but there is no understanding of the language.
 

Maintain a sense of humour!

In order to keep yourself sane and avoid a nervous breakdown, you need to be able to see the funny side of some of their behaviour. For example, without laughing at them, try and see the funny side to it when they interpret something literally. Or if they come out with an outburst which was amusing but embarrassing for you, allow yourself to have a chuckle at what they've said. Interpreting behaviours in a serious way all the time only makes you more tense, stressed and therefore making it harder for you to cope.

Many of these suggestions may not work straight away, but over time you should notice some changes in the autistic person's behaviour. Dealing with autism can be tiring, stressful, and a real burden for other people at times. However, it is still possible to live a happy, healthy and productive life even with autism being a daily contributor to life's stresses.
 

REMEMBER

Be patient
Be tolerant
Be understanding
and

A sense of humour is crucial

These guidelines were written by Rachel Kleverkamp, a young woman with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Rachel successfully completed her VCE a few years ago and is now studying at TAFE. Thank you for letting us reproduce your work Rachel.

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