Wake Up
Part Three
Weird dogs on our bellies
writing weird and wonderful symbols on the paper
up and over
squiggly and curved lines
hearts and shades
no planning
simply letting it flow
splash on colour
reds here and green over there
with brush, metal, tongue
slap a tine of beans here
glue on a condom
weld together scrap from the scrapyard
kick the ball against the wall
gloves will stick
spread it all over
strip naked and paint your body
roll over the canvas
make love in the paint
orgasm on the patchwork creation
all coming together
lie in it
mars wrappers encrusted on our bodies
a broken phone handle between my legs
dogs sleep on our bellies
sticky no longer
shrivelled up cellotape
stickiness no longer apparent
a shell of its former self
all is impermanent
cling to nothing
let all go
live in the here and now
spontaneously and alive
in joy
phone awake
old style phone sits on my desk
dormant, sleeping
awaiting a tickle down the line
brinng, brinng
waking to life
handset jiggling and giggling
jumping off its stand up to my ear
eavesdropping and commenting
pens waiting
pens stand in rows
tips glistening with ink
bursting at the seams
use me
use me
Sarah drawing
give a pen to my darling Sarah
she loves to draw
anywhere, anytime, on anything
fathers day
darling Sarah is on my knee
drawing away in her own unique style
swapping pens with mine
intensely concentrated in her efforts
what a joy she is
today is fathers day
I am her father
how wonderful it is
how much I love her so
Song on the radio
the singer blasts out the song
radio blaring away
I want to lie down in a bed of roses
who is this
give me a drink
whisky chaser
song plays on my mind
keep singing it
now who was that guy??
Praise be to the goddess
Make a move towards the sun and moon gods
bow down and pray for a good crop
wheat god bless my crop of wheat
may it grow high and strong and survive the buffeting of the winds
northen winds blowing cold and wild
survive the greedy mouths of ravens eager to gobble up the corn
friendly voices in a Walt Disney movie but real to bite your
hand
don't pat them
fingers will be soon scoffed down their throat
oh god of nature
bless my carrots and my turnips
feed all the earth from your bounty as you always have
we are the earth god
we come from earth and go back to earth so pay her your respect
she is your mother
nuturing you and your ancestors and your children
providing food for them to eat in spite of our efforts to kill
her
kill our mother
why would we do this??
love the earth
our goddess
respect and care for her as she cares for us and always has through
eternity
praise be to the goddess.
Here and Now
it happens by itself
be aware
not in the mind but in your bones
when you understand the fragmentation of the mind
not by knowledge
or memory
or by using the mind
all involving the past
the mind trying to understand itself
no
when you see the truth
feel it
live it
it is all one can do
spontaneously, intelligence will awake
you cannot seek it
you cannot desire anything
peace, happiness, nirvana, god
all desires
all involve the I
the result of the past
creating the ego and hence conflict
you see this fact
and in this seeing is understanding
the mind packs in
you die forever to the past
the brain quietens
intelligence awakens
the you, I is no longer
no more subject and object
no more desires because who is their to desire?
No one
no thing
only the experiencing
eternal and everlasting
one will all
simply being
here and now
Open to the truth at last
I opened up in the men's group
tore down the barriers
let all the anger flow
striking a chord in all members
investigating who we are
exposing ourselves
smiles of sadness and joy in our faces
dealing with things as they are
open to the truth at last
Long weekend
I had no glasses on
eyesight short sighted trying to type on the computer
it all looked dark
watch out your head does not start to ache
eyes strain
head strains
I feel like shit
why do it then
stop
turn off the computer
listen to the music
drink a few beers
laugh with the wife
give her fifty dollars from my wallet for cheesecake
I don't even like it but we are going out
for a lunch at a friend of Trish, Celia
hope she has not cooked Biryani again with no juice
cannot stand dry food
need some juice to get my balls into gear
wife and Sarah dancing behind me as I write to Bob
Marley and the Whalers looking at each other in the full length
window in the work room
I have to go to the lunch
time to end up
another Sunday with a holiday tomorrow
queens birthday
day of leisure yet we don't have one in England for queenies birthday
what to do
join the mass of cars on the road to nowhere
or sit back with a slab of beer
yes you guessed it
see ya as I pull another one
Elephants and Truth
a grey elephant winked at its young cub
who looked and smiled with a hangdog look
tails in the air
they sauntered over to the mudhole
threw mud and water over each other
basking in the afternoon sun
needing the protection of the mud like
our own factor 15+ sunscreen.
Beware the hungers lurking in the undergrowth
prepared to kill and kill again
for a few ounces of ivory
mans insatiable greed for trinkets and jewels
raping the earth and its wildlife
killing ourselves in the process
how crazy and sad
wake up pitiful humans
each one of us
we all create this hell on earth
blame no one but yourself
look within
search for truth inside
inside and outside are One
we are all One
all God
if only we could see the Truth before our very eyes
A night to remember
Christmas catalogues in September
whatever next
Easter eggs on St kilda beach
Santa on a surfboard
ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum
plum duff pudding up the spout
oh my goodness, look what's dropped out
if it isn't little Jack Horner
go on, stick im in that corner
Mary with her little lamb
dropped round for a bit of mint sauce
tender and plumb the lambs looked
packed by safeway into a handybag
the boy who stuck his finger in the plum pie
got it pecked by a load of blackbirds
and a crack by his mam for good reason
who knows where his thumb has been
they all peppered in that Christmas eve
cinders, the seven dwarfs, and snow white
having a drink and arm wrestling contest with the wicked queen
aye it was a night to remember
Driving to the supermarket
I drove to the newsagent
searching for a missed magazine
climbing in the passenger side
door knackered on the drivers side
mail in hand
sit in the passenger seat and read
more rejections and knockbacks
how many jobs have I written for
hundreds
and still the knockbacks come
but I don't care anymore
I now have a job
with VICNET
similar to my old one in England
don't know when I start
how much I'll get paid
hours or conditions
but I do know it is there
so stuff all these other jobs
pity about the community aid abroad one though
I would have liked it
still there is no I to like anything
only an illusion created by the mind
giving itself a centre, the ego
from which it can say 'I am'
when in reality there is no ego and no I
no mind at all in fact
it is all an illusion
when we see into the Truth of this
illusion drops spontaneously
the I ceases to be
in fact it never existed
the centre dissolves
and we pass beyond
when we see the false as false
it goes
and what is left is Truth
God
Nothingness
Intelligence
Nirvana
call it what you will
you cannot seek it
there is no you to seek anything
see this
not with the mind but in your being
and in this seeing is understanding
the illusion goes
like light brought into a darkened room
the darkness goes
as though it never existed at all
the centre, I , ego vanishes
like phantoms in the dark
leaving full emptiness
where form is emptiness
and emptiness is form
this happens immediately, spontaneously
without seeking for there is no seeker
worries vanish for there is no longer a worrier
no desirer
no I to do anything
all that is left is
Experiencing
it is All
Absolute
It is Truth if only we could see it.
Bird in the hand becomes a nest for babies
an eagle lands on my heart and smiles up at me
hello little bird I coo softly and the bird mellows
lying in my hand knustling up to my thumb
suddenly arching her back and thrusting forward
a baby appears from the vagina followed by three more
four chirping heads all crying for food
the mother moves her head and throat bringing up digested food
opening her mouth to let her young ones feed
before flying off to replenish her supply
she thinks my hand is a cosy nest
the babies settle down to exploring each other and their human
nest
biting here and there to test the strength of mummies nest building
skills
here she comes they say in unison
more food for us
mother jerks her throat in the way she did before and the
babies feast, taking it in turn to push their heads in the mothers
throat
of course one tries it on
till mother slaps him down hard
you have had yours, don't be greedy now, let your brothers and
sisters have some
peace comes at night-time
all bed themselves to sleep in my hands
what now
what can I do
nothing but hold them till they make their first step alone into
the big world
until then you are safe with me little ones
Car not starting and the awakening of intelligence
sitting in the car I flicked the keys
dead
no engine turnover
nothing
opened up the bonnet and peered inside
no idea what is what
brain quietens
thoughts cease
in the blankness intelligence awakens
and acts
no choices
no I
the absolute intelligence which is neither mine nor yours
all ours
acts
that is that
Letter from Jim
a letter arrives from home
excitement mounts as I see the airmail sticker
love getting mail from old friends and family
open it and read
from my old mate Jim
a great lad
I read the letter quickly
then more slowly taking it all in
I feel good
it is not really what is in the letter
but the fact it came
cementing contact and closeness with an old friend
I miss
I'll reply soon
empowered and networking
empowering people via technology
electronic networking and the Internet
linking up campaigning groups world-wide
non governmental organisations
helping them to keep in touch with their people all over the world
with other similar groups fighting on a range of issues
green, environmental concerns
women's issues and access to technology
disabled networks world-wide
sharing news and information
private and public
for anyone to see and add to on public bulletin boards
to research in more detail in databases
providing gateways to commercial dbs
so unions and groups can fight companies
with all the information to hand
mobilising world-wide efforts against torture and oppression
by email, fax and telex
within hours responses can flood in
crucially affecting potential life threatening situations
empowerment is the key word
operations of the system has to be a combined effort by techies
and groups involved
so all are working in the same direction
not ending up with a fantastic techie solution
whistles and all
which groups cannot afford
find very difficult to use
has access to tons of information but little of local relevance
in short
useless
get the groups involved at the start
they have tons of ideas
are short of cash
may with little computer experience
manned by a lot of volunteers
they need a cheap, easy to use, relevant service
good training and information manuals
good support
and crucially, input into the system needs
forget the whistles and flutes
concentrate on local information
how to get it on the system and so on
interest in it will blossom
the freenet open to the world
empowerment is the key
let us make sure it does empower
but remember
do not get taken too much with the technology
it is not an end in itself
merely another tool for organisations to use in their campaigning
if it is a choice between blankets for the homeless or buying
a modem
then get the blankets
washing the dishes
washing up the dishes
after sticky lasagne
red goo seemingly glazed into the crockery
scrub and scrub
can't shift it
pots and pans stacked high
lets get a take-way tonight.
Neck hurting like buggery
My neck hurts like buggery
players fell on it on Saturday playing soccer
going for the glory
reaching for the goals
bang
hit by two players in a sandwich
neck
crack
fucking hell
pain
stiff
can't move my neck
still can't very much so
hope it is only bruised
think it is
give it time to recover
no training this week
no game on Saturday
take it easy
deep breathe
deep breathe and let it out
relax
that's it
un-tense those muscles
the cock
free it up
relax it and let it go
much better when fucking
can erect and stay erect
calm and excited at the same time
feel it
deep breathe
let it out
day in, hour by hour
do it
no thoughts
let it all rush out on the exhale
tension and thoughts
bye bye tension
bye bye thoughts
keep it up
deep breathe and off I go again
Lovely day at the beach
I drove to the beach
stripped off naked in my car
ran starkers along the prom
onto the sand and straight into the water
astonished eyes gazed wide eyed
did they really see what they think they did?
A flying sausage bouncing past their eyes
they all hoped so and smiled
meanwhile, I did cartwheels in the surf
giving the assembled throng another eyeful of my crown jewels
then as quickly as I came
I dashed up the beach
into my car and drove away
leaving a load of confused but smiling people
then a strange thing happened
in the balmy air and happy environment
everyone began taking off their clothes with a wild abandon
cavorting and playing in the sand
dancing to turned up stereos
happy and peaceful
kissing and cuddling
joy and bliss as One
a lovely day down the beach
Wild times
ancient Chinese drums clanged and banged
singing nuns swirled their habits
defrocked priests sang double whiskeys
school heads chopped up spaghetti
twirling and curling it into wonderful shapes
purses opened and gold coins showered down upon my bald head
leaving traces of gold leaf
shuddering cowgirls danced and sand
ecstatic songs of love in the haystacks
strawberry waiters turned and poured drink after drink
mouths gaped open accepting more and more
'are you sure?'
'oui Madame'
spaceships and sauces and little green men
flew across the sky
sauces spewing from their entrails
lovely and spicy and all things nice
give it to me twice
baseball bats hammered home runs
all over the dancefloor
scattering gaily coloured cavorters in all directions
laughing we fell in a heap
Lessons of History
began reading a new book today
Eva Luna, by Isabel Allende
first chapter and what glories
prose flows so effortlessly along the page
thoughts disappear and you feel joined
with the story of Eva and Rolf
images from the footage of emaciated concentration camp
victims flood the mind
when Rolf helps buy the dead from the local camp
images from a great documentary
world war two
did the locals know the secret of the camps?
How could they not?
How could they mistake the stench of death
easy to judge from our ivory towers
but do we really know what we would have done or behaved
in similar circumstances. We can pontificate until blue in the
face
hope we would have done this or that
in truth we would have acted similarly I believe
the images of those dead will stay with the villagers for a lifetime
they should stay with us all yet how soon we forget.
Rwanda, Pol Pot and Cambodia
Bosnia, Sudan, Sabra and Chatile camps in Lebanon
the list goes on and on and on
will man never learn
but there is no 'man'
it is a generic term for nothing
there are only individuals
we create the world
each one of us
ask instead
will 'I' never learn
work on understanding yourself
you will see there is no I
in that seeing all will be One
Sat-Chit-Ananda
had enough and cock comes out
another four Guinness down my neck
man they taste good
soak my soul in a black stout with a creamy white head
could do worse
and how are you chuck?
Don't look too hot
life getting you down
wife getting you down
fuck the lot of them
pull out your cock and say fuck you arseholes
what would they do
nothing
the power to do this
we can all do it
let us
come on
I dare you.
Buying Buying Buying
the shopping centre was crowded today
my goodness it was
where do all these people come from
in their cars and vans
millions of buggers
buying, buying, buying
the modern sickness
Shopping Tricks
today I bought some clothes
a chore I abhor
choosing this or that
me, I just go in the nearest store
one showing the cheapest stuff
buy in bulk and go
hopefully last me six or more years
today on our way to an all in one supermarket
passed a shop selling $10 shirts
they'll do nicely
three of them
good, shirts crossed off the list
into superstore men's section
try on some pants
select two sorts
lovely fitting jacket as a bonus
buy them and out
finished
all we have to do now is walk miles to the car
'excuse me', 'thank you'
quick hot-dog on the way
scoff it down
away for a few years
Weekend arrives
the weekend has arrived
Saturday morning lie in with bacon and eggs for brekkie
I'm on the dole
so what the hell difference does it make
weekend or not
I can lie in everyday
yet the conditioning goes so deep
one feels guilty doing it on a week day
why??
We need to break this antiquated conditioning
I need to break it
work ethic
Protestant
English
load of bollocks
all conditioning
labels
they all need to be dropped
freedom
not for the self but from the self
no past or future
no ego
no I
no knowledge
simply herenow
eating, sleeping and shitting
no more
no escape
songs ring out of my soul
painting brilliant colours over the kitchen of my heart
kettle boiling and I look around
see the mouldy cheese and lick my lips
hide in the shower
crying
empty and alone
body cries out for love
but needs to love itself first
before it can love others
realise all others are me
we are One
embrace, live in the here and now
dance and sing in Joy
look and see the beauty
with no mind
just seeing
look the horror and your anger
hatreds, jealousies, in the face too
all the bad things
don't hide from them
try to escape
transcendental goes beyond all duality's
right and wrong
good or bad
beyond them all
which includes both and none
in form is emptiness
in emptiness form
go into the bad
don't only seek the good
seek nothing
to transcend all duality's you have to enter both sides
enter the evil, the bad
dig deep in the mire
you will find the more heights you reach
the more depths of evil
you'll hit a crust
smash through both into transcendental Truth
you will have completed the circle
leaving all duality behind
no more I or ego
welcome Buddha
you are free as you always have been
Rejoice
no clouds line the sky
clear blue
birds fly across leaving no trace
I ponder and observe
relax in the splendour
no image intruding
simply being with the sky and flowers
breathe in the joy
dance a jig of love
I do not exist
only experiencing
the process of life with no beginning or end
just love and truth
hear the words
you are all Buddha's, Christ's
I am Buddha and Christ
So are you
Rejoice
Bullshit sayings
I think and therefore I am
I stop thinking and therefore I die
bollocks
the mind has got us by the short and curlies with all this bullshit
stop thinking and die
thinking is us
we are thinking
so wrapped up in all this crap are we that to imagine us having
no thoughts
sends us mad
I would not be me
what would become of me
wake up
the mind is pulling the greatest con job in history
we all believe it is what makes us what we are
without it we would be animals nothing more
bullshit
the truth of the matter is the mind is our greatest enemy
look around at this world of ours
at ourselves
look deep within yourself at all the miseries, upsets, fears,
worries
all mind
searching for security
afraid to fart for fear of losing your job, losing a loved one
forever clinging
holding on for dear life
only the mind can save me
mind conveniently comes up with more and more sugar sticks for
us to play with
television, mobile phones, the Internet
like sugar lollies to a crying child taking his mind of the true
cause of its miseries
at the same time rotting away its teeth inside
this is the mind all over.
Doing anything to stop us looking too closely at itself and even
when we
fight through this and want to anyway
with its cleverness it makes us believe it can help us do this
it cannot
how can it look into itself, like making a thief a policeman in
order to catch himself
never work
yet it comforts us whilst rotting away our soul inside
wake up
kick out the mind
forget the sucker
only an illusion created by us
bring the light of knowledge in and it will disappear like the
phantom it is
oh god help us all
who is god
We all are, you and I
so bow down to each other and yourself
praise be.
Bloody Work
the typewriter squawked out a warning
keys clacking and quacking
spinning to and fro
tapping away the words appeared
spelt wrong unfortunately
there is always the white goo
forget its name
corrections with a pencil
my, my left wrist aches
cannot get the right position
seat too high or too low
keyboard too far
rest my wrist on the table or hold it stiff
either way the aching starts
more so in the left wrist
bloody computers and they make your eyes smart
staring for hours at the screen
static activity drying the air
face becoming itchy and red
no air movement
get some plants and bowls of water
bloody work
enough to drive you crackers
Our garden and more
our house lived in Avondale heights
a quiet suburb in the north west
streets and streets of differing designs
built on a standard acre block
I remember the white picket fence bordering our front garden
guarded by stately, thick brown sentries with small round heads
a nature strip grew wild
clover and long leafed weeds growing at will
resistant to all weed-killers
sprouting back after I had patiently removed them all
our fence had a think strip of soil outside
no one else's had
Trish grew flowers there adding colour to the street
she loves gardening
has the green touch
Under the shade of the tree and below the bedroom windows
blossomed beautiful flowers and buzzing bees
a cherry blossom stood still in the centre surrounded by daffodils
buds still dormant
only green leaves showing
spring had arrived with clear blue skies
pleasant twenty degrees brought the kids out to play
screeching and screaming in the park across the way
waking up baby
careering past on their noisy bikes
safety helmets in place I am glad to see
I spend a lot of time in the park playing with Sarah
on swings, slides and seesaws
chasing her as she laughs and runs
tossing her skyward only to fall safe into daddies loving arms
the grass grew longer
scorched brown by the intense summer heat
mowing and growing
mowing and growing
I sit and read
watching Sarah at play
what joy
what bliss the garden can be
Muggy day
a hot muggy day
I wore a t shirt and jacket
one jacket too much
I sweated and felt uncomfortable
especially trudging downtown streets
wind blowing dust in my eyes
squinting and rubbing
watching the people go by
all looking as sticky as I feel
home for a cool beer or two or three or six
stubbies of VB in the fridge
gooey chocolate cake on the tongue
brush the teeth
eat the nondescript shoes
tough as old boots
ha ha
they are old boots
Opening Up
Opening up
learning new skills
counselling and talking
meeting new people
from different cultures
Hurt knee
My knee hurts after another game of football
another defeat
how many more to suffer
goals going one way but not the other after we outplay them
same old story
cannot score
that is the name of the game
you can play all the pretty stuff you want but if you don't hit
the back of the net
no good
you lose
no cigar
what about yourself
slow and fat
no speed and no dribbling
what has happened to the old player who took on a whole team and
scored
where have I gone
who knows
no thought
don't think about it just do
whatever you want with no thought
cheers
Speeding to where?
On we drove
through fields of burnt corn
circling oil derricks on the beaches
golden syrup flavour
motoring alongside cruisers
winking at the girls in the convertibles
stopping for hot dogs and burritos
flying along the freeway as fast as the heart could flutter
out speeding cop cars
lights blue
sparkling in pursuit
shadows giving chase
speed increased so much we left our own shadow behind
world curved around us
things seemed to be going backwards
everything flattened
on we sped
faces distorted
streets melted
where were we going?
No one knew
as they waved us on our sweet way
It was him
bump, bump
footsteps in the foggy night
who?
I looked and caught a flash
a cone?
A sword?
The scream echoed long and sharp
my blood froze
where?
Running to the sound of disturbance
I tripped
a body?
Covered in blood from head to toe
face covered
by a cape
pulling the cape away to view the face
I gulped
it was him!!
Windscreen washing days
work for me begins on Friday
first proper job in oz
previously only casual stuff, factory hand, cleaner, bouncer
assembling car air-conditioners
packing parts for Honda or working for myself with Kino, Dave
and Danny
Ted with his cask of wine behind the tree on Brunton Avenue
after each car a quick swig
by days end he stumbled to the cars
staggering and weaving through oncoming traffic
Mary came for a short time joining the windscreen washer crew
bringing a smile to the denizens of this cosmopolitan city
slapping on the water
squeegees at the ready
long ones or short ones
action
lights turn red, out we dash, each one grabbing a car
giving the spiel
hoping for some dosh in return
fighting to get to the ones driven by good looking women
asking for phone numbers
on the corner of Brunswick Rd and Sydney Rd I met my future wife,
Trish
a fateful Friday
sunny and hot
working in the early evening
catching homecomers looking forward to the weekend
what a catch for me
up she drove in a beaten up yellow wagon I later learned was called
Bertha
a gleam in her eye
wide smile on her face
this ones for me I decided
dashing out first to the beautiful mirage
I asked for her phone number
she did not understand my pommie accent
I asked again
lights changed
quick I cried
she drove off and shouted out her number
repeating it I ran to the nearby 7-11
grabbed a pen and jotted it down
at night I rang
no reply
Saturday and Sunday still no response
something funny going on here
I'll give it one more go on Monday
if nothing then there are plenty more fish in the pond
I had no name to give just the number
the clock had passed five on Monday evening
I stepped into the phone booth
closed the door behind me
picked up the phone
in slow motion I dropped in the coins
destiny awaited in this electrifying moment
ring, ring, ring
I waited expectantly
do or die
suddenly a voice answered
female and soft
'excuse me, is that the lady whose windscreen I washed on Friday?'
laughter echoed down the line
I laughed too
more in relief than anything else
I had struck lucky
our lives were now intertwined
who knew where they would lead
I do
nine years down the track and married
living in Melbourne with our gorgeous daughter Sarah
just see what can happen by hanging around street corners
Upset and angry
I know I should not get upset and angry but I do
thoughts again invading
only reason I get angry
let them go
forget the event or person
no matter what they will happen again
let them go
it is not the event or person but the mind which is the problem
look into it
pull back from outside and peer within
let all the thoughts go and keep watching.
Smile and laugh
Why do I do it
drink and go on the computer
mad as a hatter
always do it though it makes me depressed
what is depression
the mind once more
forget it and be free
laugh and smile at everyone and everything
they are god
they are you
love them all
smile and laugh
cheers
Airport Life
plane boarding is the Quantas flight to Melbourne
will all passengers please make your way to gate number 12
I heard the voice and knew it was for me
checking the clicking boards displaying the flight information
I nodded
c'mon then, time to leave beloved Manchester
how many times this same scene carried out
the major parts the same with unique moments in each
clutching too much hand luggage as usual
plastic bags stuffed with booze and perfume
I ambled down the corridors in another world
airports are like microcosms of the world
cut off from everyday life
what is it like working there
entering the unreality everyday
becomes the norm I suppose
a job to pay the bills
but for passengers
me at any rate but I suspect all
my leaving anywhere feeling
begins the moment I go through the passport control
say goodbye to whoever
and enter the passengers only bit
from then on I have left
into a new world
airport life
cleaners and captains
salesgirls and cabin crew
fat, thin, sluggish and athletic
Arabs and Africans
German and French
all to be found in these haunted corridors
stuck forever to wander
no way out
only death
and that not for centuries
eating here and there
bars open at all hours
obeying none of the normal laws of the land
we are in a different world now
airport world
same the world over
run by one airport government
clutching us by the throats
final call for flight QF 12
will Mr bates kindly hurry his arse along
sitting on the bag
for one final time I ponder
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