No Despair

Passion and sex flood my mind
Images overwhelming with no control
I pull out my cock and pump away
The feeling is too strong
Cannot stop
How can I watch the mind when I let these thoughts
Take me over.
But I cannot fight them
This would only add fuel to the fire
Giving extra strenght.

I must watch them
Don't despair
Don't give up
Or what else
Life goes on and even if you end it yourself
Only to be reborn again and again
You musn't give up because there is nothing else
Just watch
No judgement
No self attacks
The self does not exist
Forgive and watch

Come home pissed up 
Feel like a piece of shit next day
Head banging and depression my only companion
Don't despair
Don't fight the feelings of despair and depression though
Go into them
Dive deep and see where they come from
Watch and be aware with no attachment
Feelings are an illusion
Good and bad, depression and happinees to be treated the same
No hiding from one and no seeking the other
Only watching 
Constant watching 
No judging

Keep going in, turning inwards, diving towards the I
Who is this I
Who am I
Search and you will find
Find it was nowhere else because it is everything
We are all it and it is us
Relax into it and the mind calms
Watch 
Watch
Watch