Up yss Bum you mongrels

A barrel of pork fell down the ladder crashing into old
Tom's head splitting it like an overripe melon
Whoosh
Yea gad it sure looks pretty with all that red stuff
Blood
Yah blood, how ever could I not say that
But my mammy and my pappy said I was to swear in public as it
Dictated to all classes the vulgarity of the mind
My mind is very fair and punctual
Never miss an appointment
Just ask Doctor Clare, a big hulk of a man
I fantasise about him crushing me in his arms and licking me all over
I dare not tell a soul 
They would think me pervert
Parents too 
Ever so young to be married and left homeless but they would get carried 
Away. Oh I say Rupert be a dear and throw another wad of money on the fire
It's getting bloody cold in ere
Eee me old cocker
Ten pints of boddies and a bottle of Rum
Up yss Bum, you mongrels.