A New Beginning
Part Six
Waken
on and on it goes on
never ending
satisfied one moment
thinking it is finally over
ended
you have completed something
happy
then a little voice pipes up
ah, what about this
what about that
it will not go away
before long the worries have returned
worse than ever
seemingly endless
how can this be
only moments earlier I'd been feeling great
the mind laughs
caught you in my web again
on and on it rolls again
how to get out of it
you can't
there is no end
it will go on forever
similarly there is no beginnning
see this
look into it
no need to worry or rush
it never ends
why worry
simply watch detached and aware
you will see minds effects loosening its grip
recognising there is no past
no future
not even any now
no time at all
eternity
not of the time stretching endlessly variety
this frightens us
seems dreadful
but eternity is not this
eternity is no time
time has ceased
not only that but time has never existed
it is only an illusion
fed by our illusions of self and I
the individual
who exists in time
you can't get out of it
cannot fight it
because there is no you
no mind and no I
so don't do anything
there is nothing you can do
any doing will be the I
only leading to strengthening of the self
hence the tricks played by the mind
what can you do
let go
don't try to let go
don't criticize or judge yourself
get angry
when you find yourself thinking and trapped by the mind again
who is it angry
the I
strengthening itself
don't say I must try harder
no
don't do anything
just watch your actions and mind
be aware of what you are doing
what thoughts are in your mind all the time
watch them
spontaneously
with no effort
it will dawn that there is no I
not in the mind but in the absolute
in that moment you will be free
free of the mind and the I
so stop trying to change and simply start watching and being aware
Busy day before the Saturday meal
a busy day I have had
painting the chimney
whitewashing the bricks
trying to paint onto the mortar
cracks between the bricks
dab, dab, dab
ladder too short
have to scramble onto the roof
crawl over slippy tiles
fearful for my life
hanging onto the chimney as I paint
afraid of falling
feet move and my heart jumps
had to leave a bit I could not reach
bugger reaching over the chimney for that
onto the mowing
giving Sarah a bath
having a shower
fingers covered in paint and another concotion
the stuff I filled the gaps between chimney and wall with
some polyeuro crap
don't get it on your hands the pack said
I'm covered in the shit
can't get the bloody stuff off
be picking at it for the next few weeks
bloody rubbish
now comes vaccing the house
quick wiz all around
tidying every thing up for our dinner party tonight
a friend of trish and her boyfriend dropping in
pasta on the menu
lovely
especially creamy tortellini
few bottles of wine and a slab of VB
should make the evening go smoothly
must stop now
bottle of VB calls.
The Vampyres Kiss
nothing happened I swear
please believe me
I woke up and found myself there
not knowing how I got there
oh please
don't treat me like an idiot
the sun shone on the Sunday morn
I had a slight twinge of a hangover
not much thankfully
but it lurked at the back of my brain
aware of it
not fighting, just watching what it would do
the tram moved and juggled
cariages spinning in the vapid air
glancing to my right I saw a woman crying
instintively I reached out wrapping her in my arms
there, there, don't cry
why are we always telling people not to cry
because we are embarrased?
Don't know how to deal with emotions
preferring to let them fester away inside
causing more havoc and for longer than they ever could
if we let them out
cry, cry, cry I shouted
let it all out
cry and scream
hold nothing back
the sobbing had ceased
I felt hot saliva on my neck
looking down I cried in horror
she was sucking at my neck
two protuding fangs puncturing my skin
I did not pull away tasting the not unpleasant sensation
my legs felt weak
my blood was being drained
finally, I summoned enough sense to raise my elbow
and bring it crashing down on the vampyres head
she loosened her grip
looked up at me in astonishment
as my elbow came down again
catching her square in the face
knocking her sprawling across the carriage floor
she smiled at me
blew me a kiss
disappeared in a puff of smoke
I felt my chin
tasting my own blood
lovely
I ride the tram daily
looking out for my deadly vampyre
or the sobbing cries of a woman
everyday I go on searching
Catching the sun
face is red and burning
not only through embarrassment
red from being burnt in the sun
playing football on the Sunday
we won the UK cup
Man City the champs
but I caught the sun
came off looking like the proverbial lobster
bloody painful in the shower
look daft too on the train to work
Tuesday has arrived
glorious and warm
the sun shining and all seems well
my head still burns
glowing like a red hot poker
attracting the scents of strays
everything loks and feels clean
springs in everyones steps
they walk and smile
touching lovers tenderly
looking searchingly into each others eyes
I love you
I love you too
hearts are bonded
summer has arrived
love is in the air
Gone Beyond
doodling away drawing circles midair
cascading turrets of water gush down
blowing my cobwebs into dust
hello young astronaut
vance astro
leader of the guardians of the galaxy
whatever became of them
endless thoughts rush in
I stagger smiling into the path of a train
say goodnight Gracie
bang
screeeeech
gone
stiff as a board
stiff as a board
can't turn my head
neck hurts like crazy
cock does too when I pull back the foreskin
what is going on
will my car start
had to hit it with a metal spoon an hour ago to get it going
same thing again
probably
Back to Ade's Poetry