A New Beginning
Part Five
Sitting in the Nude
sitting in the nude
cock dangling down
waiting for my turn in the shower
Trish and Sarah are in there now
looking at the window
what a sight a passerby would get
especially with me climbing on my desk
thrusting my large member against the glass
they would enjoy it I am sure
as would I
something liberating about being naked
free from clothes
free from the mask we normally wear
consequently, free from societies normal rules
freedom
lovely
shake and roll
enjoy my nudity
have a go yourself
this life
on the telly
this life
must watch
see how egg and milly are getting on
why is she shagging her old ugly boss
old git
anna and miles
will they ever stay sober enough to realise they love each other
no drink
no coke
jo and that girl in millys office
kera
thats right
pregnant no
give jo a break
get back with him
you make a good couple
eggs brother breaks his duck with the girl behind the phones
looks fat when there
not bad looking when out
gay courier, forget his name
out with lenny
handyman in more ways than one
all going down
drinking, smoking, shagging, swearing
just like
this life
Painting in the rain
the rain came pouring down
black clouds overhead
plane flying perilously close
I stood atop my ladder
surveying the scene
feeling the raindrops wetting my shirt
I looked in the paint tray
still half full
have to stay until I use it all up
could easily climb down
pour it back into the can
go inside out of the rain
but oh no
I have to finish it
up a ladder
in the rain
a water based paint
probably wash off in the rain
it wasn't cold
I felt pretty good
humming away
slapping on the paint
dab dab dab here
dab dab dab there
filling in the cracks
whistling as the rain poured down
Sick Sarah
Sarah has a fever
legs boiling hot
she will not eat
drinks little
just wants to be held all the time
comforted
we try and give her medicine
she cries and screams
turning her head away
have to force it down
she throws it back up
in her eyes
all over
tears everywhere
I feel so sad
hate seeing Sarah ill
feel so powerless
what can I do
she cries and my heart leaps
come here my darling
daddy will kiss you better
Aware of the music
music playing in the background
leave thoughts alone
not interfering with the music
evaluating, judging, and comparing
simply vacant
flowing across an empty space
watch them come and go
aware of the music
Tap, tap, tap
tap, tap, tap
keyboards banging
hitting the paper
banging away
words taking shape
coming from the ether
appearing spontaneously from beyond
meaning unknown to the mind
transcendental
do not try to understand
simply experience
let the mind go
Jumping from a bridge
Man clambers over the bridge surround
shotgun in hand
threatening to jump
police block route
traffic backs up for miles
angry drivers
unaware of what is going on
police try and calm the man
he is anxious
afraid
fearful of life
we have been him at times in our life
wished we could climb the bridge
jump
put an end to our life
instead of carrying on
with the same meaningless tasks
we envy the jumper
think of the peace of death
but are at the same time afraid
what does lie beyond
will I go to purgatory like the priests say
we cannot bear the thought of more despair
so continue with our life
day by day
hour by hour
minute by minute
second by second
with no meaning
meaning is a word
a creation of mans mind
an illusion like the mind that created it
do not despair
you are God
perfect and absolute here and now
don't try and do anything
accept this and surrender
you will be happy for you are perfect
Go with the flow
concentrate no longer
concentration is with the mind
free the mind
there is no mind
stop fighting the flow
let go
flow with it
Time
the mouth of time gapes open
a large dummy stuck in there
pink and plastic
time chokes on the oversize plug
gasping for air
throwing its head back and forth
'milk mummy' time cries
nurse her back to health
feeling poorly
time laments the past and future of which he is one
even though they do not exist
I slit the dollar coin and blood flowed
red blood
the blood of the poor huddled in shacks
whilst we eat our fill and then some
yes I am with the rich
children die of starvation
I wind my watch
time overlooks all
and yet
and yet
time itself is only an illusion
see this and you will be free
Give it up
give it up
I have given it up
all of it
nothing left
My darling, my love
once again I sit at my table and write
Sarah climbs on a chair to join me
up onto the table
crosslegged like little Buddha
grasping my pen and writing in my book
talking aloud as she does so
laughing and happy
the innocence of Sarah
my darling
my love
The wind
the furious wind blows the trees asunder
plastic bins empty their contents on the road
refuse swirling around
cats crying and fighting
chasing the flying split black plastic bin bags
in the hope of leftover fish or meat
a symphony of noise
trees singing in their inimitable way
arms straining outwards
thrown back like a singer in full cry
chairs are knocked backwards
a lively party is going on
sunshine tries to join the party as does pouring rain
dressed both in a multicoloured light show
rainbow curving over the heavens
wind dismisses them with a curt glance
no room at the inn
bugger off
continues on his merry way as householders snuggle up in bed
heads under the blankets
tiles and floorboards rattling noisely
wind inching his fingers through any little crack
caressing the people in bed
who shiver and curl tightly up in their blankets
frightened by the majesty of nature as it threatens to tear down
the illusion of security we have bestowed in a flimsy, man-made
construction
in a flimsy man-made world
when the truth blows
man hides rather than face it
heads in the sand, under the blankets
as the mirage is shattered
raise your heads
dare to look
there is nothing to be afraid of
we are the wind
Who would've thought it
made it ma
top of the world
look at me
bang
I fell and the earth caved in
falling through a gap
a gap in time
echoing with the footfalls of destiny
in a slipshod manner
look into my hammock
sleeping as I passed
waving at me
goodbyeee
see ya later
well I never
who'd have thought it
Midday drinks when you've got a cold
my nose was stuffed up
full
blocked and heavy
I sniffed around wiping my fingers across my nose
catching the dribbles
chatting in a wine bar
drinkign a couple of glasses of red wine
straight to my head
left feeling woozy
head clouded over
alchohol and nose combining to send me to ga ga land
luckily little happened in the afternoon
Simply One
anguish and pain seep into our lives
where ever we turn
one or both is welcoming us
'hello, nice to meet you again'
a downpour of melancholy
overtakes the stoutest heart
the clay man breaks open
revealing a red raw heart
pulsating and glowing
red hot with heat and flames
each nerve end a tingling mass
of excitement
raw to the touch
open, exposed to the icy touch of man
cover blown away
no more man-made prison
only knowledge and understanding to support you
letting go of all attachments
no by effort
by being aware
hand holds loosen and you feel afraid
what if I lose my grip
I will be lost
panic overtakes you
you try anything to keep a grip
little realising this very effort
at holding on
is causing what you are so afraid of
when, through awareness, you realise this fact
outside of the mind
spontaneously you relax
surrender and let go of your grip
fall into absolute nothingness
into truth
you are no longer separate
only One
The Cold
my head banged and banged
blocked nose dribbling away
you guessed it
a cold
tissues blocking your pocket
sniveling in meetings
excuse me
pulling out a ragged tissue
quietly trying to blow
hoping no one will notice
you feel it slipping out
no tissues left
nothing for it
slurp across the back of the hand
A blank mind and the trees
the weather is cold but the sun shines brightly
trees turning autumn brown on the avenue of honour
driving along
gazing at the trees
lost in no thought
nothing between me and the trees
we are one
no comparisons, no descriptions, no qualifications or comment
a blank mind and the trees
Watch
the mind is a tiger
doesn't give up
gets its claws on and holds on
for dear life
try and control the mind
eliminate thoughts
stop thinking about this and that
no good
before too long your guard has slipped
there they are again
running and rushing about in your head
got you again
do nothing
let them have their day
just watch
ignore headache
watch and be aware
of your thoughts and body
no judgement
no attachment
no trying to change
arguing with yourself
trying to stop them
simply watch
detached like the sky watching the clouds pass by
watch
you are not there
there is no I
simply watch and it will happen
when
who knows
all I do know
is that trying to change
to control your mind
never works
so watch
there is no time
no hurry
watch
wait
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