A New Beginning
Part Two
Saturday blues
I had a few Guinness last night
again
but the killer was the glass of port on top
shouldn't have but I did
feel like shit today
taking Sarah to ballet, mowing the lawns
head banging
want to sleep
argue with Trish over nothing
she is sad
I feel like crap
Saturday Blues
The Game
Crowds roared
the team scored
the rain poured
the old man snored
who won?
He grumbled
waking to the cheering noise
chanting and singing
arms up and swinging
in unison
one and all
having a ball
comrades together
in all kinds of weather
piss wet through like today
even the odd balmy summer day
shirtsleeves on
cold beer in hand
up in the stand
singing and cheering
c'mon, c'mon
shots fly in
crash the back of the net
who cares if we got wet
we won
it is all that matters
We are the One
a cup of Charlie to end the day
hot and steaming
in an old china cup
sipping slowly
avoiding a burnt tongue
I write with silent mind
that's the idea anyway
let the words flow
from beyond
the absolute
joyous visions disappear
see the earth
for what it is
us
god and man
we are one
Live Now
relax those shoulders
too tense
aching all the way home on the train
massage them
take your time
no need to rush
all is illusion
why worry
see this and understand
only now
nothing more
nothing less
enjoy the now
no ends or starts
simply the process
live it
forget all
live now
First thoughts In men's group
felt unwelcome
no one talked to me
except for George
others were not ignoring me
out of impoliteness
they simply had more important things to do
talking out their problems
with fellow group members
offering support
whilst I sat idly by and said nothing
nothing
Autumn Moon
the rain falls tinkling
upon my swollen head
throbbing with the after effects
of a good night on the booze
cleaning away all my imperfections
refreshing my soul
cleansing and renewing the source
absolute in essence
sorrow and pain
scuttle away with shame
joy and happiness
rush in
dancing and frolicking with gay abandon
lovers nestle in each others arms
orgasmic embraces
passionate touching
the sun shines
a world renewed
we see the autumn moon
it is good.
Fingering
I finger you in the street
you punch me on the nose
I finger you on the Net
get details about you
much more friendly on the Net
Beckoning Night
the night beckons to me
open arms welcoming
the soulful stranger
come
come here
find peace
the urge grows stronger
hard to resist
why
surrender
Eternity is a long time
eternity is a long time
no
it is simply now
forever
Booze and a Friday night.
I have drunk some more Guinness
two bottles of the stuff
750 ml of a good brew
no money
paid for it with eftpos
Trish will be mad at me
once again
you get $180 for yourself
why are you taking out extra
why indeed
need the booze
need the buzz
each time with a hangover I say this is the last
but a day later
it has worn off
I want more
more and more
Two bottles is what I have
not too bad
enough for a buzz with out paralytic drunkenness
this Friday I will be good
should be exciting night
plenty of talent there
Deirdre, Lori and more
who knows
kick back on the booze
have a good time
love Trish in all ways
have done with it.
Virtual World
I work on the top floor of the library
State Library of Victoria
centred in Melbourne
old Victorian edifice
kids outside
skateboarding and roller blading
along the level front
couples sit on lawns
feeding the pigeons
eating ice cream
laughing and hugging
little Johnny rushes hither and thither
chasing the birds
giggling
waving his arms about
guards watch from the doorway
checking to see none of the books walk
I work on the top floor
away from the public
hidden behind four large screens
just my computer and I
connecting to others via a cable
in a virtual world of my own making
aren't we all
Silence
search out the information
read it and destroy
cows feed on the refuse
mankind creates
disseminates
fails to educate
no one knows
confusing knowledge with wisdom
intelligence
knowledge is the opposite of intelligence
knowledge is of the mind
intelligence is when there is no mind
only when there is a silent mind
nothingness
will intelligence operate
absolute
truth
see it and understand
in silence
Something to do for humankind
I am mad
work is driving me crazy
fucking bosses don't have a clue
unions march in town
one hundred thousand of them
go and watch
but do not chant
feel separate somehow
supporting yet not one of them
not a boss either
thinking them arseholes overall
exaggeration but I have seen nothing to the contrary
writing this I sip my port
hang on a minute
that's better
off to Ararat tomorrow
more political bullshit
we humans don't half like making bullshit and crap to keep us
busy
nothing else to do I suppose
endless reams of paper
on the computer
meetings
no good for anyone
why do we do them
what else would the vast majority of us do if not this
humankind needs something to do
but what??
Let go
silently the man gazes
looking through a spidery web
specks of dust cloud my eyes
disappearing and reappearing
contemplating and speculating
incorruptible presence of pure light
pulling the source of enmity
putting it right
I fall, grasping for a hold
cluching at a ledge
crumbling in my grip
surrender my friend
a voice whispers in my head
I do and let go
Echoes of another time
echoes of another time
the chiming clock ringing in the morn
a sad child crying beneath the blankets
father amd mother screaming
cups and saucers flying
school bells tinkle in the distance
as old mr grey
a hundred if he's a day
reigns up his old mare
clippitty clop we hear her
leaving our back yard
I loved going on the rounds with old mr grey
shouting 'rag bone' at the top of my voice
old prams, kettles and stoves
chucked on the back
later weighed in for a pittance
shoes with holes
filling with water
socks soaked through
shivering as we left the ground
cheerful cos City had won
'what a grand game'
'did you see how he stuck that one in'
thousands streaming towards the city
cold and dark
but a happy atmosphere in the air
floodlights dimmed and went out
I looked forward
smacking my lips
to a large roast beef for tea complete with roast tatties and
vegies
pie and chips for supper as I watched the game replayed live on
Match of the Day
Osho is it you?
Standing up as the wind blows
gale force whipping up my tie
I handle my notepad
writing akwardly
looking left and right
at cars angling past
I've just stepped off the local bus
takes me as near home as it can
fifteen minute stroll to follow
well the week has ended
another day gone
another dollar earnt
Osho was that you I saw last night on the documentary
about bhagwan shree rajneesh and all his rollers
are you he?
Sure looks like it
no mind
your book has opened my eyes
now it is up to me
silence and surrener
live spontaneously in joy and love
Having a few beers
I've had a few
couple of beers watching the footie
gone straight to my head
can't take it anymore
feel tipsy already
should I have another
feel like it
yes I'm sure you do
always when the taste is there
tommorrow you'll feel different
when your head is banging ten to the dozen
guess you're right
now push off
you're in the way to the fridge
We soon forget
howling wind
pouring rain
hail rattling against the roof
hear it hitting the skylight
so loud
sorry
natures fury in all her glory
morning comes with sun
we soon forget
Sarah sat on my desk
Sarah sits singing on my desk
the light is on
I am writing
notepad squeezed in a corner
bit left over from Sarah sitting on top
she is talking and singing
her mike is a felt pen
how full of fun she is
funny and gorgeous
Sarah what are you doing
I grab the felt tip out of her hand
while I looked down to write
she pencilled her face
covered in black felt tip
rubbing it onto my face
I say NO
she continues doing it
I pick her up and put her on the ground
she runs off crying to her mum
'what's this on her face'
I don't answer
continue writing
First days at secondary school
I had a brand new uniform
selected and bought at my new school
shiny buttons on the black jacket
school crest stictched over my heart
North Manchester High School for Boys
upper and lower schools
no girls sadly
a companion North Manchester High School for Girls
the day dawned
school holidays over
the gap had to be bridged tween primary school and the big boys
fear and pride intermingled
my brother Mark went to upper school
some protection there
mum walked with me that first day
not far
school was only round the corner
I walked the route for the first time
the one I'd follow for years to come
up the avenue
past the postie and shops and old cinema
across the road
we hit the school entrance
lower school that is
for the younger boys
upper school was a trauma yet to face
mum kissed me at the entrance
I looked around embarrassed
hoping no one had seen
but all over kids and mums were doing the same
followed by the same look from the kids
I said goodbye
shrugged off mums attempts to tidy me up and
began strolling down the path
putting on a brave face on the outside
terror and panic gripped me inside
not only older lads went to this school
but lads from dozens of primary schools
ones we used to play footie against
what am I doing here I thought?
The path wound on and on
I was just one kid among many
second year lads gathered in groups
laughing and joking
I entered the main yard
saw a group from Moston Fields
breathed a sigh of relief and joined them
little talk
we were all scared
the bell rang
a stern teacher appeared
bade us to line up neatly and file in
you first years
go straight up to the assembly hall
in we strode, nervous as heck
sit down from the front back
teachers lined the walls
some smiling to relax us
others glaring, revelling in their power
after we had all entered
the head in a swirling black gown rose to his feet
welcoming us all to this great establishment
I forget what he told us
everyone waiting expectantly
finally he sat down
an understudy rose and proceeded to call out names
you lot are class 1A
go with mr jenkins here
out they went
following the teacher like the piper of old
eventually my name echoed around the hall
standing up I surveyed my classmates for the first time
we were the class 1 Alpha
our master an old science teacher
forget his name
our home became one of the science labs
great as it happened because the tables had holes at the side
large enough for a two pence piece to drop through
every morning we'd spend ages
one on each end of the table
pushing the penny back and forth
gaining a point if we holed it
this was later though
now we all eyed each other
taking our seats
Cronny was in my class
Andy Barlow too
along with some lads who'd become friends for life
including stoney and steve mungin
life at secondary school had just begun