Eternal Up and Down

Part Six

Rush hour transport

I stood on the train all the way home
I stood on a bus all the way home
they sure get packed
in rush hour


Flow into the stream

flow with the stream
water lilies bobbing
frogs croaking and hopping
float with the stream
don't fight it
let go
let go of all ideals and visions of what you shall be
leave them all behind
you cannot change
we are as perfect as perfect can be
relax into existence
no more fight
let go
surrender


Blood and Brains

Head aching fit to pop
bang
blood and brains everywhere


The bird in the window

consciousness off a tingle tingle outside in the rain
closeted in my bedroom
creeping under the doona for comfort
caw caw
crashing against the window a bird
caressing a decapitated cat
meow
I turned and saw the smiling head in a pool of blood
smiling up at me
aargh I screamed leaping out of my bed
Urgh
I'd stepped in something squishy
standing still I dared not look
pulling my feet up each step
tap , tap, tap
the bird beckoned me to him
I made no move
tap, tap, tap
come his eyes shined
slowly I moved across the space separating us
come closer
closer
I reached the corner of my bed and stopped
fear bubbling inside
closer, closer tapped the black bird
something had control of my body
I lifted one after the other and approached the bird
tap, tap, tap it contrived
reaching the window I leant forward
my nose touched the glass right on the spot of the birds tapping
our eyes met
smash
silence
glass everywhere
no bird and no I


No face to see

no one saw me alive as I flitted out of the shadows
cutting a swathe through the enemy
a knife her, sword here and high powered rifle with silencer fitted over here
magnum 2001 range 40 hectabears of course
oui Madame, je suis Adrian
of course you are dear boy, now you shoot up and join us for lunch

Two of them sitting like madam without so much as a spoon
shovelling up the food with fingers and thumbs
sometimes not even bothering with this but simply dipping the face into the trough
oink oink

thoroughly pains in the backside but you can never have enough of
homicidal maniacs as long as they don't turn on you
most are thick as bricks so easily to turn
believe me I know to my cost I said to the fit looking brunette in the corner

want to see the scars to prove it
no really big boy, I believe you
come let us blow this joint
now you are talking

Tonia and I floated through a haze of drink and sex blowing each other and
anything in site at all times of the day and night
no one like tonia
bad influence they all cried

good just how I like them when the sun is beating down
I want them quick to take clothes off and not be afraid to be naked
amongst all of us, naked too of course

will the world believe us
we say the UFO
but they did not land
will they ever??


Paint

the brushes stand to attention
sturdy and straight
bushy white hair poking skyward
clean as a newly bathed baby
use us
use us
they scream in unison
don't think about it
count the paint
check the turps
too much in the mind
forget the mind
stop using it as a crutch
it causes the limp
kick it into touch
do it
no thought
simply do it
paint


See the Truth

on the telly I hear Italian
rapid fire chatter
all foreign languages seem to be spoken much faster
than English
no pausing for breath
is it true or my imagination
does English sound this fast to others
I think in English
others think in Italian
French, Thai, Hindi, Chinese
a myriad of thoughts
highlighting their second hand nature
they are not truth
they do not explain truth as we like to think
with philosophy, spouting endless crap
thoughts do not explain the truth
truth is unexplainable
truth simply is
it is man's incessant need to explain
bringing the mind into everything
which causes the despair and ugliness in the world
the mind coats the truth with ignorance
each mind creating his own illusion
different reality for all of us
reality not based on truth but illusion
an illusion strengthened as we use the mind more and more
believing it knows the answers
all we are doing is stirring up the mud
creating more discord
more coating of the One Truth
there are no answers
answers lie in the realm of the mind
in ignorance
the more we think we know
the further we are from the truth
the greater the separation from our true being
one with the truth
this separation leaves us with an ache
we know things are not right
but use entirely the wrong instrument to show us the way
the mind
the very thing obstructing the truth
making us think there is a way
which we strive to find
there is NO way
we are perfect now
no where to go
no heaven
nirvana or hell
only truth
and we are the ones with the truth now
if only we recognise it
but we don't
covered over as we are with the illusion
wrought by the mind
don't fight the mind
don't use the mind
don't run away from sad and unhappy thoughts and feelings
don't run towards happy thoughts and feelings
don't do anything
for doing means an I to do them
separation
a subject, the I, doing
there is no I
this is minds greatest illusion
what to do then
don't believe in any gurus
reading their stuff and following their way
there is no path
no way
Buddha points his finger at the moon
but mans gets tied up with the finger
with the scriptures
forget these
it is not the finger which is important
we only need it to point the way
but the moon
Buddha can only point the way
it is up to you to forget the finger and see the moon
it is always there
if we look
so what to do
nothing and in doing nothing see the Truth



Truth in Mother Nature

I argue and defend
why
who cares
no meaning
illusion
so leave it
let it go
power and fame
position and money
job and responsibility
people get so wrapped up in them
I do too
losing my rack at the thought of losing control of someone
scared of change
forget it all
no meaning
an illusion
let it all go
rich or living in rags
truth is beyond this
so don't become attached to this world
let it go
no thoughts about it
nothing
it is there and I move in it but no attachment
free yourself
mind is the lock
locking you to the world and your individuality
locking you to a search for security and a pained life forever
in fear of losing this security
driving you mad
you will do anything to keep this security
murder even
yet you know it does not bring you any happiness
it is a curse rather
yet knowing this you spend all your life building it up
afraid of losing it
the attachment becomes your millstone
mind has got you
attached to child and family
all are one
any could be you and you they and are they
so no attachments
no mind
no thoughts
thoughts are the glue which holds the chains of attachment in place
struggle with it and it just gets tighter
but you want something to do
struggling must be they way
I am a man
and man needs to be a doer
I must do something
fight with it, pull it, cut it
but all just strengthens the grip
what to do
you must put your faith in god and the truth and

let go
stop fighting and resisting
let it wash over you
no trying to change it or alter it
just watch
watch and learn
you have given up
no longer worth fighting for
but you have not given up life
only seek to know the nagging truth causing you pain
scratch it and it gets worse
you want to do something but have to watch
same with life
stop doing and start watching
truth will come to you
it is here always
open your eyes and lose all the thoughts
open your eyes to mother nature.


Dark, lovely tunnel

trains shuttle through the empty, echoing chamber
dark and desolate
headlights picking up the glance of a single rat
opaque eyes reflecting back a sharp beam
the rat stands transfixed
a smile curling across its lips
as though playing with the train
the noise is pounding
but the rat sits
skipping out of the way at the last moment
loving the game
the thrill of adrenaline coursing through its veins
water drips endlessly onto the track
drip, drip
flickering tunnel lights throw faded light into the shadows
wrestling with the cold, dark maw
a losing battle
light becoming weaker each moment
the rat glances up and ponders the light
dodging the falling damp
eating raw fruit and bread tossed carelessly from a passing train


Horny Queen

the sweat rolls down my large chess piece
the queen laughs and pinches her king
look at that love, the pawns are sweating
bloody commoners
they're not the only ones dear
I'm fucking wet as a horny pussy
Alfred
don't put your shocked voice on darling and get your hand off my cock
but Alfred its been so long
so long, you call half an hour ago so long
come we have a game to play
not that ugly pug moving me about again
smelly fingers pulling me all over the place
you love it dear
I can see you coming as he rubs you on his forehead while pondering what to do
and I see your favourite pawn is nearby ready to give a lick
a woman must do what a woman must do
really dear
well I must go
come my pawn, I am as horny as hell

Smiling

Smile and the whole world smiles too
there is a lot of truth in the old saying
smiling does make you feel better
exercises the face
perks you up
it is great when someone breaks into a smile back
spreading a bit of cheer into the other
forget all the glum folks who stay grim
don't get annoyed
shutting down your smile
instead remember they are you
seeking after truth and happiness the same
keep smiling at them
the motive is a good one
keep smiling
and watch the corners of their mouths start to curl
in an uncontrolled smile


Mum and Dad so far away

A letter from home
so far away
from mum and dad
whom I love so
keep writing
you are always in my heart


Visiting Death

death comes to someone I know not
found black
undisturbed for days
shock in discovering the body
feelings of sadness and sorrow
what to say
you never know
feelings you have
ones for the person you know
how she must feel
but for the dead person
shock at a death but no more
you did not know him
it disturbs me
the ambivalence


Unknowable Truth

I know not
wonderful
I know nothing
I am ecstatic
knowing is the cause
knowing is the mind
mind is the root of all our suffering
we know nothing
only imagine so
imagine knowing about an illusion our minds create
knowing is bound up with the mind
and the mind creates no truth
only illusion
hence you can never know the truth
only experience it
see it with insight but not mind
sound easy
NO
we are conditioned to use our mind
constantly chattering in our head
a continuous bubble of rubbish
reinforcing the perception of our reality as truth
making us think we know
need to know more
a falseness leading us up the garden path
chasing our own tail
beyond and transcending the mind
unknowable
it is us now
under the coat of minds ignorance
a thick and heavy manacle
fighting it only results in a tightening of the bonds
the way out is to do nothing against all our wishes and the minds urging
there is no I to do
no separate self
the ultimate illusion
the simple fact of seeing this with insight
nothing has to be done
nothing can be done
anything done only stirs up the cloud of ignorance helping to obscure
it is like a lamp has been brought into darkness
finally you see what was always there
seeing this the shackles drop
the prison of your mind disappears
a mirage
they never were there
and neither was the I they enclosed
the drop has rejoined the ocean
so do nothing
simply let go


Welcome and goodbye, nice to see ya

and now the end is near
not near actually here
end of the line
end of the road
edge of the cliff
precipice before you
jump, fall or be pushed
either way its your choice
but you are going
push
okay here we go
wait a minute
you are supposed to go over the edge not meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
bye bye sucker
I feel for an almond lozenge in my pocket
wrapped up in my hankie, sweating in the midday sun
hair and bits of fluff stick to the sweet
no matter I mumble plunging it down my neckline
hit immediately with that
lozenge
smell
wonderful
I go back for more, addicted to the taste
the feeling you get when you suck the lozenge
no more my dear
one day at a time
one day at a time sweet Jesus
now there was a song
let us all sing
on second thoughts all SHUT UP
thank you
I am off to bed
see you in the next life or the next book whichever comes first.

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