The Black Book with the Red Spine
Part One
Knowing
Knowing is not with the mind
The truth is not to be cognized by the intellect
No amount of reading, discussing
Attending lectures will shed any light
You have to feel the need for truth
Recognise it lies all around
Only ignorance clouds it from us
The ignorance we call I, the individual
The ego and mind are our enemies
They trap us in this limited body consciousness
The door to truth is always open
There is no puzzle to find it
We only have to give up this sense of self
Give up the thought of I
Silence the mind
Free it of all thoughts
No thinking, just doing with an empty mind and
The absurd will be experienced
Beer
Walk around the corner
A dark and miserable night
To buy a can of Boddies
Man it looks a sight
A creamy head, silky and smooth
Goes right down and fills the groove
To venture out in the cold and dark
On every corner there may lurk a shark
Never fear
Lets all cheer
I go anyway to get some beer.
Family on Good Friday
A drive down town
Trouble parking
There's a spot
A lovely day with Mam and Dad
Wandering the Space Museum
Cup of tea in the café
Back home, fish for tea
It is a Good Friday.
Sunday Football
Easter Sunday, football in the park
Rainy, cold but twelve turn up
Foxdenton Park, ancient old hall
Underneath in a warren we get changed
Opposition arrive, look a surly bunch
Their home game so no nets for us to put up
Change into number six shirt
Strap on shinpads
Necessary in this kicking league
Run out onto pitch
Muddy as hell
Big gobs of mud fills watery holes
Images of crashing face down in there surface in my mind
Game begins
Tough as nails
Boots sliding in
Threatening to rearrange shins
Defeated one nowt
Troop off in black
Back to changing rooms
Pager has gone off
Empty the Mind
Empty the mind
Silence the mind
Concentration is not focusing on one thing
It is concentrating on having no thoughts
The original thought is the I thought
'I am'
From this root follows all other thoughts
Once this is there the ego grows
Individuality rears its ugly head
We begin to identify with the individual body
From this identification all suffering arises
If we realise the truth is always there
Heaven is here and now
Only clouded over by the ignorance of the mind
If we let go of all thoughts
Cease striving for anything
Concentrate on looking within
Silencing the mind
Letting go of all thoughts
Then like through an open door
We will see the Truth which ever exists.
Easter Monday
An afternoon spent at home with the radio
A quiet day
Reading Silas Marner listening to the football on the radio
It is too much for me
City in relegation trouble
Playing fellow strugglers Southampton
Utd and Blackburn battling it out at the top
The tension is too much
I have to turn of the radio
Put on the TV instead
Kids screaming outside
Playing innocently as youngsters do
An old film on television
Repeated one from Easter Mondays untold
Work tomorrow but
Today is a day of rest
Who will win the football
Paint the red wagon with Clint and Lee Marvin.
Put the Fear aside
I feel week at the knees
Scared to do anything for fear of what others will say
So scared of making a fool of myself
Anticipation kills any urgency
Kills any sense of wanting to do anything
Making up lines to say to Trish
What to say at the Post Office
Why
Who cares what all these others think
Anticipation never has come true so why don't I learn
But you never do
Forget it anyway
There is no I to have these fears
If I concentrate on solving fears of a non existent I, I only
Give the illusion more strength
Forget it all
Bend your knee at my dinner table
Success or failure
Embarrassed or confident
What do they matter
Not a jot
Concern yourself only with looking in
Look now
Don't write damn you
LOOK.
Keep Striving
It is a constant fight to silence the mind
You think you are well on the path
Your mind seems under control
Complacency seeps in
Suddenly, from where you know not, the mind is full of thoughts
Cascading in from all sides
You despair, shocked by all this
Where did they come from?
Convinced you had your mind under control
Cannot believe your peace is so quickly shattered
Engage the mind in trying to work out what went wrong?
Why did your mind suddenly cave in when
You were sure all was going your way
Far from helping though
These mental questioning simply adds more thoughts to the mental
pot
Further causing anguish in your mind
Accept you will have ups and downs like this
Never wavering in your convictions
Never asking 'why?', 'Where did these thoughts come from'
Thinking you have lost peace never to be found again
You need to realise that until you have enlightenment
Things like this will happen
It is hard but you must not give in
You must not engage in mental questioning
Trying to find out answers to this and that
All of which adds wood to egos fire
Instead you must remain strong in your conviction that the way
is right
Redouble your efforts at silencing your mind
Continue concentrating on looking within
Searching out the root 'I' thought
Continually emptying the mind of all thoughts
This way your effort will keep its reward
As the mind, the ego and the I all vanish in illusion and
The Everlasting Truth is seen without ignorance.
Sleep and strange visions
Sleep closes my eyes
Lids droop as I type these last few words
Yawning I rapidly type and type making typo after typo
Stop it my lord cries the peasant in black robe
Prince you may be but common scum you are to me
How dare you address a prince of the realm like that
I will have you hung, drawn and quartered
Yes, that would be just down your alley Monsieur
But I think not.
The good citizens of Paris will not allow this effrontery to their
Personage. Folk I berate you to crush this mans spirit
Bayonets at down, none of this hand to hand rubbish
No wait just one moment
The chief judge is standing up about to speak
What's that, I cannot hear
Turning to family next to him
Will you lot shut the f*%# up
No more says the President,
The time has come to give the land back to the people of France
Viva la revolution
Up the communities
Woman in red you are in all my dirtiest fantasies
Woman of my dream come make love to me all night
Let me devour your pussy of desire, gobbling up your throbbing
clitoris
Away with you now I have a play to perform
If you would be good enough to step back
Thank you
I love you all
Oh yea we believe you, silly jumped up old tart.
Royal Wedding
The snow hurtled down cascading off the eager mountaintop
Like white princes bowing before their fairytale princess
The wind huffed and puffed for attention
As the thunder bellowed his approval
Lightening sent shards of refreshing flashes down to
Illuminate the happy couple
Glistening off the snow prince as he gathered
Up the princess in his arms, gaily dancing and pirouetting
Whilst hail and snowstorm raged all around
Ice white confetti on the lovers heads
Dawn approached to pay her respects
Sun gliding shyly up into the sky
A new day of hope born from this cosmic wedding. Sun
Climbed higher smiling vividly as the mountain once
More rumbled into life.
Aching eyes and strained wrists
My eyes grow tired and my left wrist aches
The table is slightly too big for my chair
Hands reaching up for the keyboard and hurting
Throbbing like a salamander chewing your bone
Rough, steady and ready to rip it off
Bloody great thing.
My eyes are paining and my wrist is straining
Stop writing then
Can't, have to finish this poem
Well I'm bloody finishing it here and to all
Reading this
Sod off and let me rest.
Up in the Moors
The wild moors
Green, hard and barren
Undulating hills and meadows
Rushing streams cascade through rivulets in the hills
Brown stone litters the fields
Bleak dry stone walls meander across these hills
Up and down dales
A crashing crescendo of joy
In the heart of the watcher who
Opens his mouth to breathe in the cold, brisk wind
Tingling the skin, opening the pours
Filling your soul with the freshness of nature
You peer around enjoying the cold bleakness
Sun shining over the hills
Then you begin your walk back to the car.
Letting Go
Let go of all thoughts
Unclench the fist of your mind
Let the thoughts slip away
Do not follow them
Getting caught up in their illusion
Becoming more and more embroiled in them
Giving them the appearance of reality
They are not
They are illusion
Clouds of ignorance covering the eternal sky of truth
Let them go
They will come and go
Do not follow
Observe them
See them like clouds come and blow away
This way the thoughts lose their power
Have no hold on one
You will see all these thoughts
Making up your ego
Your individuality
What you call the 'I'
Has no anchor in reality
You will see it as an ever-changing illusion
Your ego, your 'I' will disappear like the mirage they are
Leaving behind the Eternal Self
The Everlasting Truth
Eternal Bliss, Love and Light
So don't fight your thoughts
This gives them the strength to live
Simply open the hand and let them go as petals blown from your
palm
Goodbye
The One
Truth and Bliss Eternal
Clear the mind
Silence the mind
Have no thoughts
Pure Consciousness
Pure Awareness
Of the One who is you.
The Moment
I now know there is no other way
I will stray but then return to letting go of thoughts
Ups and downs come and go
But I know
This is the Way for me
Keep picking myself up
Dusting myself down
Forgetting the past
Not thinking of the future
Simply letting go of all thoughts and
Living in the moment.
Workday Morning
Sailing along not a care in the world
Kippers for breakfast
Dollops of HP sauce
Buttered slice of bread, ah lovely
A slice out of suburban life
Don't forget the nice cup of tea
Milk, no sugar
TA
Up at seven am each and every morning like clockwork
Alarm goes off
Push the snooze button
Grab a few more minutes of sleep
Crawl out of bed
The very act of pushing back the covers, a seeming Herculean task
Sleep clogging the eyeballs
Sloth to the toilet with a bladder full to bursting
Peace at last you sigh as the water gushes out
A steamy, yellow flow soaking the sunken paper in the bowl
Pull the chain and risk waking the sleepers or
Leave it murky yellow in the bowl
Decide to pull the chain and it gurgles away
Bathroom, cold tap on
Water on my finger
Wipe it across the eyes removing the gritty sleep
Tissues in the ears
Waxing lyrically
Waking up a bit
Pull your tummy in
Bend those knees
Crick the neck
Stretch the hands
Put on clean clothes
Downstairs for the early brew
Check on paper
Not there yet
Bloody paper boy late again
Another workaday morning.
Sat Morn
The sun peeps into the morning bedroom
'Hello' it shines in welcome for another lovely morning
Wakey, Wakey
Winter has gone and I am in full bloom
Ready to breathe warmth on you
You turn and twist in bed
The sunlight lighting up the room
Dazzling you through your eyelids
You awaken and smile
A sunny morning cheers up everyone
Mother cooking sizzling bacon and eggs
Downstairs to an early morning cuppa
Followed by eggs, bacon, tomatoes and mushrooms
A hearty breakfast for a Saturday
Off to the bookies with Mirror in hand
Putting on your daily bets
10p each way please
More for interest than owt else.
Soul Gem
The soul gem is floating in infinity
It dazzles those who come near
If you let go of all thoughts
Desire nothing
Forget the past
Do not look forward to the future
Let go of good or bad
Pleasure or pain
All duality's
Desire nothing
Realise Samsara and Nirvana are the same
Both here and now
That here and now is all we have
Nothing more
Eternal and Forever
With your letting go
You enter the void of no-thingness
The only way to acquire the fullness without attachments
Without desire
Going to the void, letting all go is
The way to the fullness of the reality of the Self
Going On
What is going on?
In the mind
Stop it
Let it go
Trip to London
Who will be there
Who knows
Organising it
Arranging it
It'll be a good laugh
Don't worry
You'll be there
All that matters
Look inward
It does not matter where you are
As long as you draw the mind back in
Let go
Relax
Silence the mind
The 17:30 to Euston
Sitting on the 17:30 to Euston
Heading to the smoke
Reserved Apex ticket
I sit here smugly whilst others frantically try and find a seat
'Is this reserved' they ask
'Is this one'
They go up and down the trains asking
'Oh Bollocks' the young ones say
Sitting in reserved seats anyway
Confrontations ensue
'This is my reserved seat'
'Oh fuck off'
'How dare you'
Flustered guards try and dampen the situation
Pleading for calm
Trying to look authoritarian
People milling and milling
Another journey on the 17:30 to Euston
Going Home, Weekend Over
Going home, the weekend over
Forgetting what went on immediately
Learning to live in the moment
Which is all we ever have
The here and now
This is all which should concern us
Past and future never occurred and never will occur
Only the immediate moment is true
One with Infinity
Joys and sadness
Pain and pleasure
Good and bad
All thoughts of these
All duality's must cease
Living in the moment
Letting go of all thoughts
Revealing the eternal truth
Behind the cloud of ignorance
A truth which always exists and
In which all duality cease.
Ode to the Drinking moment
I just had to do it
The lure was too much
Shining black can
No drink for awhile
Don't feel drunk
Cold too
Need something to do
Go for it
Get up and walk to the fridge
That's it
Open it up
There they are
Two for tomorrow
Tomorrow may never come
Enjoy them while you can
Reach in and pull it out
Cold to the touch
Rescue my glass from the debris of washed pots
Flick the can top
Hear it bubble
Quick hold the glass on its side and let it trickle down the side
That's it
Let it settle
Guinness needs the time
There we are
Pitch black body with a creamy white head.
Relax and enjoy
Too much is too good for you!!
World of Soothing
Soothe the pain we all feel
Tired hands caress us
Milking sensual joy from limpid bones
Beyond pleasure and pain
Good and evil, darkness and light
Lies Truth
Eternal, never changing, Truth
Clouded from man by the ignorance of thought
Feelings and emotions
Let go of these
The pleasurable equally with the painful
In the ensuing void
Completeness will come
The mind will be shown for the charlatan impostor it is and
Will flee for its life
The resulting thoughtlessness
Allowing the eternal Truth to be seen
A tree becomes a tree
Is that so
Walk on.
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