It all started when I was only a boy. We would play cricket and soccer together in the back yard, go for bike rides or play computer games. I thought he had an endless energy supply because he was always doing something active. He was always on the go and it was usually blamed on red cordial, but when I think back now, this probably wasn’t the cause at all. We used to laugh at him because he was so funny, but all this turned into a nightmare.

It gets to a certain point where I just get sick of putting up with him and his problems. I will often tell him that he annoys me and try to expose his weaknesses so that he can see what is wrong with him.

I guess this is just the way I handle it, but when I lose patience with him, I provoke him. Sometimes I become so annoyed that I provoke him to the point where he loses control and throws something at me, or swears and says how much he hates me, or threatens to leave home. At these times, he has a strange look in his eye, one of hate - or that’s what it seems to be. It is at this point that he ‘cracks’ and gives that look. Then I realise that I have gone too far. I become stressed and I feel guilty. Sometimes I think I’m to blame for the way he is.

We do get along sometimes. I can tell that he does not hate me, and when I look closely, I can see someone reaching out - someone desperate for help. Every so often he will come into my room and just sit on the floor and talk to me. He can tell story after story. He is great at telling stories and enjoys it when people listen to him. I can’t always be bothered listening to him and if I’m busy, I’ll ask him to leave. If I show interest, however, he will tell even more stories about what his friend did, or what a certain movie was like, or what happened at school. He has a great imagination and probably thinks too much. I think that used to be my problem. I would think too much. I still think too much now, only I can control what I’m thinking. He can’t.

My fifteen-year-old brother has what is called ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). My family only found out a couple of years ago, and when we did, it explained much of my brother’s behaviour, particularly when he was younger. I have gradually learned about the disorder and what it means for someone to have it.

Each person in my family has had to adjust to cater for his needs, and to prevent him from becoming angry or agitated. I used to find it difficult to cope with being treated unfairly by my parents or by having to put up with something he did.

It seems to me that his bad moods can strike at any time. Sometimes when he arrives home from school, he can be very unreasonable and most unpleasant, when no-one in the family has done anything to upset him.

Mum continues to advise me, and she understands that having to live with ADHD must be very difficult and frustrating for me. She has learned about the disorder from purchasing books about it and reading them.

We have attempted to find ways to combat ADHD. Firstly, my brother was sent to a psychiatrist. This lasted about eighteen months and the visits were discontinued because little change was made and little was being achieved. Several types of medication have been used, but in many cases, the side-effects caused more problems and he became more angry.

I can tell that things are improving slightly at last. My brother now sees a paediatrician who is an ADHD specialist, and he is now taking anti-depressants. I have discovered that I cope much better if I stay out of the way when he is being unreasonable because then I won’t retaliate. The less I allow myself to become involved, the less I will become stressed and unable to concentrate on my homework. However just living under the one roof is hard sometimes.

All I know is that I have to stay out of his way and restrain myself from interfering. I have often found that, either intentionally or unintentionally, I have caused him to become angry and this has caused my whole family to become upset with each other. At these times I have often felt responsible for the way my brother is.

I just hope that the symptoms of his ADHD subside as he becomes older, and that he becomes a happier person. I realise that this will not just happen. However, if things go the right way for him and he starts feeling happier about himself, much can change. I hope things go better for him, not for my own or my family’s sake, but for his sake.